[Humor] Fast forward >> Top Headlines from 2024

Saturday January 04, 2014 , 3 min Read

The famous Chinese philosopher Confucius once said, “Study the past if you would define the future.” Pulling the curtains on 2013, we recently published the top trends in technology, mobile, investments and startup trends from the year. After reviewing the year that passed by, we have ambitiously embarked upon predicting what 2024 would look like. Here’s a sneak-peek of the top headlines 10 years from now:

1. Micromax overtakes Samsung in worldwide sales of smartphones. Hugh Jackman to continue his contract

2. One more fleet of Amazon’s drone crash. Amazon stock prices nosedive. Are they the new MIG-21?3. Flipkart raises $50 billion from existing investors, to bid for acquiring Amazon4. Jack Dorsey to go for his 6^th IPO5. Apple’s bitten piece found intact at Samsung’s HQ, Apple to file yet another lawsuit

6. A 3-D printer prints world’s first 4-D printer7. Elon Musk becomes US President, Hyperloop to replace Amtrak soon

8. Microsoft shuts down Windows, opens Doors 3.1 to focus on 'Livable' technologies

9. Thanks to AAP (Aam Aadmi Party) startup policy, you can now register your company in exactly 1 mins & 30 seconds from your mobile10. China to replicate the UID project. Finally decided to do what they are good at, COPY

11. MakeMyTrip partners with SpaceX to offer inter-planetary travel, starting from $1.4 million12. 'AAP ka app' the most downloaded app of 2023

13. SEBI finally approves Bitcoins as financial instruments14. GOSF 2024 - a 9 day online shopping bonanza begins with all e-commerce players offering flat 90% off on all purchases + 9% off for the 9 lucky customers every 9 hours15. Salman Khan finally loses his virginity

16. Now, install iOS 14 on your iToilets

17. RBI approves short term 'Onion loans' to beat inflation and please consumers. AADHAR card a pre-requisite

18. Pranav Mistry leaves Samsung. Releases his recent TED talk on Seventh Sense

19. After the humongous success of TED talks, TED launches BED Talks. Targets to reduce the divorce rate among couples

20. ‘IIPM replaces Harvard as the numero uno MBA college’ is the new claim of Arindam Choudhary

21. Nation denies the accusation of demanding an answer by Arnab Goswami

22. Rebacca Black releases 'Friday - Yet Again!' after finishing off with all seven days of the week

23. Marissa Mayer joins rediff.com as the new CEO to revive the company. Top order management & logo to be changed within a week.

24. Google launches Google- to neutralize the noise from Google+, is this the new 'dislike' we've been waiting for?!

25. Scientists finally located the 'Real Mayan Calendar'. New analysis finds their calendar actually ends on 24th December 2024!

YourStory Inc. wishes you a Very Happy and Prosperous 2024!

Disclaimer: The above content is not intended to hurt the sentiments of any individual or organization and is purely based on the philosophy “Laugh and the world laughs with you”. Hope this does tickle your funny bone. We request you to hold your logics & senses for a decade to debate over the headlines mentioned here.

Keep laughing :)

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2024

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