Thank you for being you: an open letter to all moms from a 90s kid
Mother’s Day is often dismissed as a marketing gimmick by many, but it does give us a much-needed opportunity to celebrate the woman who is the reason for our existence.
An ode to our mothers is a given on the day we celebrate motherhood. As we see the cliches that Archies and Hallmark showcase in their glass showrooms— greeting cards, coffee mugs with quirky one-liners, and little confectionaries with small poems dedicate to ‘mom’— we wonder whether Mother’s Day is just another commercial gimmick?
It might be!
Nonetheless, the day does give us the opportunity to celebrate the woman who is the reason for our existence.
I know, I myself, do not express it often, but sometimes even the superwomen in our lives needs to hear the words, ‘I love you!’ and ‘Thank you for bearing with me, despite me!’
Hence, I dedicate this message, on behalf of all children, to our dear mothers.
The first lesson
For as long as I can remember my mother relived a part of her childhood through me, giving me all the opportunities that she could never avail during her younger days. Even if it meant traveling over 10 km on a rickshaw just to take me to Bharatnatyam dance classes, or to art school on weekends, or fighting the age-old customs of patriarchy, and untouchability, when I started menstruating.
Whenever I quiz her about what drove her to mould me into the independent individual that I am today, her answer is a standard,
“I didn’t get a lot of luxuries in my life; I didn’t dare argue with my father for my freedom. And I decided that my daughter would live her life differently.”
And this belief and conviction to live up to one’s dreams, irrespective of gender roles, and never give up was the first lesson I learned from her.
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A taste of independence
From early on, my mother was adamant to ensure that I grow up to be self-sufficient and independent. This meant solo travel to school in auto rickshaws and buses, and zero tantrums about food choices. After all, “You won’t die if you don’t eat one meal. If you want something special, cook it yourself!”
More importantly, she taught me about financial independence!
Society, till today, dictates that a woman’s life is in the kitchen and home, while the man is taught that he is the breadwinner of the family. Even school textbooks and story books said so. But not my mother! She always maintained that while having a father’s, or a brother’s support in life was welcome, a girl had to be independent and never depend on any male member of the family.
At an age where men “choose to allow” their wife and daughter to work, this thought seemed liberating. And with this independence comes the confidence to conquer the world.
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Never give up
This is perhaps an attitude that all mothers possess universally. A mother-child bond truly has the power to overcome any challenges.
When my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, she just said, “I am going to fight, I am going to live for my children.” And she defeated death.
My friend’s mother, a gynaecologist, would come back home post-midnight— after the grilling 14-16 hour shift at the hospital during her residential training period— and work with her two sons on their homework, projects, and record books.
Another mother left her job, her life in Delhi, and moved to Mumbai with her daughter to ensure that her dream of becoming a professional singer was realised.
Mothers, it seems, wear an invisibility cloak; under that is the attire of a superwoman who removes all hurdles that come in their children’s way. Nothing is too big in front of their resolve to ensure a brighter future for their children. And they do all this, without complaining!
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Inspiration
For each of us, our mothers are special and unique. Their touch, their voice, their presence itself is enough to assure us that all is and will be well. Behind our success lies their unknown story of strength and sacrifice, of sleepless nights and struggles — and to them we send our love and gratitude.
To all the mothers out there, I have only one message: Thank you and we hope to make you proud one day.
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