Winning the battle of a working mother
A Mother is known as the epitome of sacrifice. But does she really require to sacrifice? I being a mom defy this. Did you just read that and frown? This is one concept that I’m hesitant to associate in relation to parenting. The art of balancing is best understood by a working mother. Everyday she faces the struggle how to be a great mom and how to manage the work and home efficiently.
I didn't do any favour to a child by bringing him/her into this world. It’s me who wanted to experience the joys of motherhood and that's why I took the plunge. Pregnancy comes with labour, stretch marks, struggles in feeding, sleepless nights and all this without the statutory warnings. In short it’s a roller coaster ride. I have experienced it all and in my view having a toddler, I know I still have a long way to go. I would never ever want my child to feel that I sacrificed for him.
When a mom decides to work (with or without financial compulsions) she chooses for herself. I had a choice to work or be at home. I decided to continue working not because of financial needs but because I WANTED to. When my son Shiven was born, a mother was also born but not to forget I was the same Alpha female with the aspiring dreams, high ambitions, had goals to fulfil who still had a keen desire of globetrotting. “I didn’t lose myself when I became a mother, I found myself”.
We as mothers need to fill our emotional wells first so that we can give abundant love to our loved ones. After all you can not pour from an empty cup. If we ourselves are drained dry then how can we do something good for our children? If we are resentful and gloomy then what is the use of our presence? In my opinion, sacrifices in fact cause much harm than good. A kind of distance is created between parents and a child. We often cringe because when children grow up they need their own space. We constantly tell them that we have sacrificed so much for them all through life and this ultimately creates pressure on a child. A child feels indebted towards parents and as a result his/her own dreams take a backseat as children don’t want to upset parents.
Women sometimes think that kids would be a stumbling block on the way to excel in their respective fields. But if one is really passionate about work, then kids are surely not an obstacle. It's important for women to challenge this perception. Pursuing work & passion while raising a baby is surely hard. But the good news is: it’s possible!!!
In the beginning, I found it unnerving to pursue a career as a Yoga Instructor and follow my passion of travelling, leaving my toddler back home with his grandparents. I knew very well that I would be judged by the standards of societal norms, but still I followed my heart and ventured into an arena where I could excel and display my real talents. After tasting its real joy, I knew if I take a deeper plunge into this field, I will definitely taste success, especially when I have the positive attitude to contribute something really meaningful to the society at large. I firmly believe life is an expression of blissfulness. Live and spread BLISS!!! If I’m able to inspire at least one life, it would be a great achievement for me.
Be a role model for your children as they will learn, grow and develop seeing you. Make sure that you have you hobbies, interests, friends. Don’t be an empty shell. How you treat yourself plays a crucial role in their up bringing. I firmly believe it’s better for a child to grow up with a mother who has a strong work ethic as it kind of instils the same in them. Children are sponges just wanting to soak up the world around them. Being a mother does not mean that you kill your own ambitions or be less motivated to achieve the desired career goals. Yes, undoubtedly I love my son to bits after all I’m a mother, but I live by the mantra what my mother taught me. The best thing my mother has taught me is to love yourself too and give importance too. I want to help my child to achieve his every dream along with fulfilling mine. I believe by doing so, I would help him learn the most important lesson in life which my parents taught me and that is love and value oneself.
Being a mom is the toughest job in the world. There are times when you feel that you are not a great mom as you feel you are not living up to task. When a mother works hard with great dedication, a child learns the same values from his/her mother. By doing so you are in the process of bringing out the best in your child. We as mothers need to understand that motherhood and womanhood can go hand in hand and at times its okay to give ourselves the luxury of the fact that we can drop a few balls in this constant jugglery. Motherhood should be a celebration and not a sacrifice.