Disclaimer: This is a user generated content for MyStory, a YourStory initiative to enable its community to contribute and have their voices heard. The views and writings here reflect that of the author and not of YourStory.

5 psychological secrets for self-confidence every wannabe achiever must know

Psychologists reveal us that “We can change our attitudes by changing our physical actions”. For example, to feel more like smiling you have to make yourself smile. To feel more superior you have to stand tall rather than slouching. On the negative side, try frowning really too much and see if you don't feel more like frowning.

Have you ever wondered if your managed actions can change emotions? For instance, you might have been in a situation where you are even shy about introducing yourself or have seen a closest friend or colleague in a similar situation. This feeling of shyness and timidity can be replaced with confidence just by taking 3 sample actions simultaneously:

1. Reach for another person's hand and clasp it warmly

2. Second look directly at the other person

3. Say “I am very glad to know you” 

 These three simple actions automatically and instantaneously banish shyness. 

Confident action produces confident thinking.

Act confidently to think confidently

So, to think confidently you have to act confidently. In other words, just act the way you want to feel. Below are 5 confidence building exercises which need a conscious effort to practice them and build your confidence.

1. Be a front seater

Now imagine you are attending a meeting or classroom, Which row would you occupy a seat in? most people scramble to sit in the back row so they won't be “too conspicuous” and the reason they are afraid to be conspicuous is that they lack confidence.

Sitting in front builds confidence though this may lead to anxiety and fear sometimes. 

Practicing this would eventually destroy the fear of facing front. Make it a rule to sit as close to the front as you can. So you may be a little more conspicuous in the front but remember there is nothing inconspicuous about success.

Try for first row always

2. Practice making eye contact

You can almost read person’s thoughts through his or her eyes. Instinctively, you ask yourself questions when someone fails to make an eye contact. “what's he trying to hide? what’s he afraid of?"

If you fail to make eye contact it just says one of two things. It may say, “ I feel weak beside you. I feel inferior to you. I am afraid of you.” or avoiding another person's eye may say “ I feel guilty. I have done something or I have thought something that I don't want you to know. I am afraid if I let my eyes connect with yours you will see through me.”

Maintaining a good eye contact tells that “I am honest and above board. I believe in what I am telling you. I am not afraid and confident.”

Make your eyes work for you. Aim them right at the person's eyes. it not only gives you confidence it wins you the confidence to. 

Maintain proper eye contact

3. Walk 25% faster

Psychologists link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes towards oneself, work and people around us.

You can actually change your attitude by changing your posture and speed of movement.

If you watch people around, you would discover that body action is the result of mind action. You would find these three groups of people

(i). In the first group, the persons who look like extremely beaten, the real down and out as just shuffle and stumble along may have zero self-confidence.

(ii). In the second group, people walk “average” with an “average” pace may be average people. They have the look of “I really don't have very much pride in myself.”

(iii). Then there is a third group. Persons in this group show super confidence, they walk faster than the average. There seems to be a slight sprint in the way they walk. They walk as if they are saying to the world “ I have got someplace important to go, something important to do. what's more, I will succeed at what I will do in 15 minutes from now.”

Your walking style may reveal your thoughts

Use the walk 25% faster technique to help build self-confidence. Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster and feel self- confidence grow. 

4. Practice Speaking Up

Remember that the more you talk the more you add to your confidence, and the easier it is to speak up the next time.

Speak up. It's a confidence-building vitamin.

Make use of this confidence builder to full potential. Make yourself a rule to speak up at every possible meeting you are attending. Try speaking to say something voluntarily at every business conference, committee meeting, community forum you attend. Never make an exception and never be the last to speak. Being an icebreaker with a comment helps you overcome the fear of speaking.

You would never look foolish and for each person who doesn't agree with you, odds are another person will do agree.

For special training in speaking skills, you can reach out to any good speaker that you know in your network or there are platforms like SkillHolic where you can find someone to mentor you in this. Try getting experience in speaking, consider joining your local toastmaster's club.

Thousands of conscientious people have developed confidence through a planned program to feel at ease talking with people and to people.

5. Smile big 

Try this little test. Make or pretend yourself feel defeated and try smiling big at the same time. You can't do both at the same time?.

A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency.

A real smile does more than cure just your ill feeling. A real smile melts away opposition from others instantly too.

A really big and sincere smile prevents any opposite person from getting angry. We cannot guarantee that a half-developed smile is worthy. Make sure you smile until your teeth show that large size smile is fully guaranteed.

Many people around us say, “yes, but when I fear something or when I am hungry I don't feel like smiling.” of course you don't. no one does. the trick is to tell yourself forcefully, “I am going to smile.” and keep smiling. Harness the power of smiling.

Doing what's right keeps your conscience satisfied which further build self-confidence.

 There could be two consequences happening when we do what is known to be wrong.  First, we feel guilt and this guilt eats away our confidence. Second, people around us sooner or later find out and lose confidence in us.

Do what's right and keep your confidence that's thinking yourself to success

These thoughts and ideas are extracted from famous books like The Magic Of Thinking Big and presented here to help fellow entrepreneurs grow self-confidence. So, all credit goes to respective book authors.