Failure sure tastes bitter, but so does beer. Acquiring that taste helps and so does acknowledging our failures. When our life hits a dead-end, do we keep standing there? We break the wall instead. Start life as a blank page, take one day at a time.
I was reading the article on Sundar Pichai a while back on YourStory. While he's the most celebrated successful Indian in the world, he speaks something of utmost importance there - of wearing our failures as a badge. While I was in prison for 70 days in the months of October-December 2017, I met a lot of women inmates. Their lives, losses, and experiences definitely made me feel that life is much more, much greater than we think it is. All of us had a different set of problems, different stories, and different failures. There was one point where I even contemplated killing myself. But then, life happened. Being a bit more grateful helped me, and of course, acknowledging my failures.
Imagine this, your life is full of problems. It’s like an ocean and you’re drowning. What would you do? Try to swim frantically? No! Stay still. Consider all is gone. The worst has already happened. Now only good things can happen. Stay calm, stay afloat, let the waves around you settle, then swim to the shore.
This is going to be a list of my likes who’re super lost, broken yet do not want to give up on the zeal to live and sail through. Consider your life to be a blank page, and this is how you would make it beautiful.
A day at a time: I was going crazy about the issues in my life, and I discussed that with my friend that the future looks so vague and uncertain, she said this, “One day at a time.” Don’t, just don’t plan for the next week or the next month. You might wish to change your life real quick, and trust me it will happen, but like every good thing, it takes time too. Everything is happening for a reason. Whatever is happening, isn’t happening TO you, it is happening FOR you. Remember that.
Pray: My cellmate Daniella, a beautiful woman from Cameroon, often saw me very upset and worried about my children. No amount of assurances would calm me until she taught me a particular way to pray. Whichever religion you belong to, whichever God you follow, try this in the following order and trust me, you'll feel a change in the way you look at life and things that matter (or don't).
- Say 'thanks' to God for all the things you are blessed with, something as small as being able to read this post. Many don't even have the privilege of sight or literacy.
- Apologise to God. If not to anyone, you can confide in him. Say 'sorry' to all those you have hurt. Bare them all. Ask for forgiveness for yourself and for those who have hurt you. Let it go.
- Ask God to fill your body with positive light and imagine your body is filled with light. Bright white light. Then imagine that light in all those situations where you really need help in your life. In my case, I imagined my children filled with that light.
- Tell your intentions to God. All of them.
Listen to this guy: I wouldn’t use the word ‘meditate’ because, like me, I’m assuming many of you might be lazy, or might just be too cool to meditate. But shut the hell up, listen to this track and just meditate as the first thing you do right when you wake up. In fact, you can do it multiple times a day as well. And for the curious, it’s called heart meditation. My dear friend Nidhi had introduced me to it and it did help.
RUMI-nate: I think Rumi is by far the best predecessor of being through heartbreaking situations and yet writing the best things ever. So if you think you’re broken, tormented and torn, read Rumi and the likes of him and feel good about yourself. I’m really not sure if it’ll help though but since words are supposed to be pain and loneliness’s best friends, it’s a good bet.
Love: You would argue that I’m hurt in love and you want me to love again? Yes. Love again. Love yourself, love that hobby which you packed up and kept on a shelf that’s dusting already, love that friend you haven’t spoken to in the longest of time, love yourself. We can be wrong, but we need to accept that. Most often than not we argue that how could I be wrong? Who are we? God? No. we’re mortals, and we have follies. Accept. Love. Let go.
If this helps you in any way, don’t forget to help someone else in return too. Let’s keep the chain growing.