“The best way to get your child to listen to you is to develop a meaningful relationship with them without judgements and anger” a website says. The depth of the love of parents for their children is not fathomable. Unlike other forms of relationships which only form a small part of an individual’s life, a parent child relationship lasts throughout his/her life and is a very important one. It is a combination of behaviours, feelings and expectations which are unique to a particular parent and child. Both the parent and the child contribute equally to this association.
The characteristics of the parents will play a crucial role in this alliance. For example parents who have already experienced this through younger siblings or career paths are often times better able to cope with parenthood. The age of the parents is also important. Older mothers tend to be more responsible to their infants than younger mothers. Furthermore the stability of the parents marriage affects the parent child association in many styles. The quality of the parent’s marriage has both direct and indirect long term consequences for the parent and the child.
Characteristics that may affect the parent child relationship will keep varying as the child grows. Parent infant attachment is crucial for the infant’s survival and development. It is strengthened by mutual interaction. Hence it is very much essential that the parents spend adequate time with their babies. Working parents must note this point and always put their child in front before their work. After this stage is the toddler stage. The parents now change from caretakers and nurturers to teachers also. This is the first phase of shaping the child’s social behaviour. During the school years, the children will slowly start moving with peers. This is not to be noted as a negative impact on their relationship. The parent child connection continues to develop the child throughout this stage. Next is the most important stage which parents normally find it difficult to handle. Adolescence. It is the stage were the child matures emotionally, mentally and biologically. There may be many misunderstandings and arguments between the parents and children at this stage. Children will like to be independent and will want to be left alone. This is their normal nature. Parents should always encourage and show affection to their children no matter what. Authoritative parenting that combines love and firmness is the key to tackling adolescents. However it has been seen that children become more close to their parents after this stage.
Parents should not fear or get angry while handling children. If they find something wrong with the child’s attitude or behaviour, they must work to correct it. Discipline must be taught in a proper way and must not be confused with punishment. Children are like a mirror of their parents. If the children are advised to follow a certain principle, the parents must make sure that they follow it first. As they say, "Practice what you preach".
“There’s nothing like your mother’s sympathetic voice to make you want to burst into tears” Sophie Kinsella has said in her book. Whatever problem occurs, sometimes all you need to do is to give your child a big tight hug saying everything’s alright.That’s the miracle of life.
Stories by Rosheema