July 24, 2017
Affirmations are words stated that confirm or acknowledge what we perceive to be is the truth. All throughout our lives, we have been the recipient of many and varied statements. Some of these are positive while others are negative. Without even us knowing it, the statements formed part of our reality and eventually led us to believe in either of the two concepts: You are special or you are not special.
When I was a little girl, I experienced the lack of positive affirmations. And this led me to my own conclusion and perception that I was not special. This thought kept me from finding my wings and learning to fly and it crippled me in many ways. I remember the emotions vividly. The constant fear of making mistakes or facing the unknown, the self doubt of whether I was capable of doing the things I needed to do, the self pity because I felt unloved and feeling unworthy to be loved at all. It was so confusing emotionally.
This made me want to hide than shine. I felt ashamed of myself. If you’ve read the story written by Max Lucado, You are Special, I felt like Punchinello in a lot of ways. Do you recognize the Punchinello in you too?
• Comparing oneself to others – how other people seem to be better, more beautiful, more talented or gifted or richer
• Feeling never good enough, looking at oneself and seeing all the ugliness or the weaknesses and the flaws
• Depressed – often tired, sometimes not wanting to get out of the bed to live life
• Hopeless – will my life get better ?• Feeling unworthy to be loved – pushing people away unconsciously and thinking why the relationships you’ve had never work out
For those who have been fortunate enough to grow up in a lovingly expressive environment, be grateful for this blessing. It may be hard to understand and grasp the pain of what people go through when others experience the opposite of what you have experienced. Your compassion and empathy will go a long way.
On the other hand, if you are not feeling special right now, allow me to tell you this: You are Special! Yes, you are.
Angels Among Us Say You are Special
I believe with all my heart that God and life has a way of reaching out to us. Sometimes we may just be too consumed with the pain that we can’t see it; we may even fail to recognize the angels sent our way. Angels come in many forms -- a friend, a teacher, a neighbor, the driver, even a stranger, your pets, your kids and more.
And there would be moments we’d acknowledge the goodness and love, but then after awhile we’d go back to the dark hole and be miserable again. Don’t hate yourself for this. The light will find you once again. I tell you this. I tell you lovingly, “They were there!” Your angels were there. They were everywhere.
I wrote Angels Among Us in recognition of the angels -- ordinary people doing extraordinary things with love. During the moments when I do not feel special, I would recall these angels and it brought me to a place of gratitude. It is an affirmation to me that I am loved and cared for. And that makes me feel special.
Get Rid of the Labels
Punchinello discovered that he didn’t want the gray dots or the golden star stickers. He just wanted to be like Lulia,the stickerless Wemmick. Getting rid of the labels we place upon ourselves and others and replace it with affirmations is a wonderful way to affirm that I am special, that you are special.
God Says You are Special
I must confess that my spirit grew quiet in contemplation when I read the varying opinions about God. People argue and fight over God a lot or even in the existence or non existence of this Divine Being. I am quiet because it made me ask about my own relationship with Him. But you know, during those years when I felt so alone and lonely, I had God. God became my friend. And I talked to Her a lot. He was very real to me. She was someone I could talk to and tell all my secrets. And much later on in life, there was a beautiful moment when I recognized something that will mark our friendship and bond from that day forward.
I was telling God how angry I was with Him because He had told me everything will be alright. How could it be alright when I was feeling lonely and miserable? And I was crying and I told him harshly that I don’t want to talk to Him forever! And I turned my back deliberately at Him. After minutes of crying, I realized what I just had said and in agony turned to where I could feel His presence.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m hurting so much.” I cried some more. And God in His infinite tenderness, mercy, compassion and love held me close as I cried and told me over and over again how much He loved me. When the tears finally stopped, I realized something very important. “Father God,” I whispered, “No matter what I’m going to do, get mad at you, not talk to you, you will still love me anyway huh?”
I could feel him whisper in my heart the words I needed to affirm that I am special, “Yes!”
And so I am called to tell you write my essay, to tell you lovingly that God is telling you what He has told me over and over through out the years, “I love you. You are special to me. You will always be important to me, no matter what.”
Love Has To Start With You
When Punchinello heard God’s words to him, he felt His sincerity and love. He started to believe and a beautiful thing happened, a gray dot started to fall to the ground. In my journey to healing, I recognized that people were there to help and guide me. But in the end, I had to love myself first. Everyday, without fail, say an affirmation about how special you are. Start with the phrase, “I am special because…”
Begin to celebrate your uniqueness. Be aware of what a magnificent, beautiful being you are. Begin to love yourself. And then go and share that love to as many people as you can.
You are Special. I am Special. We are Special. Say this affirmation daily and watch how it will transform your life.
Stories by Juan Koss