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Are you OKAY being yourselves?

Do you have anybody in your life that you think you can't forgive? You know why you can't? It is because you can't forgive yourselves. It is also because you are not OK with yourselves. That is the hard truth. How do you be OK with yourselves?

We are oblivious to life

In 2007, I locked myself up in a room for about 6 months. Only because I did not clear an online exam when I thought I had to, after the hard work I put in. Even when I recovered, I was not being OK with myself for doing a lot of things I considered as bad.

My story is no different from people around me. That is because we are on the same state - of not having understood life. The moment I understood life, I discovered how hard I was making it on myself. The reason I flunked the exam despite my very hard work is because I was just not treating myself like a human. I wanted to be a super human. I am not that. I should try being myself. Who knows who I am? I have always tried living a super human life that I know nothing about myself.

Too young to conclude who we are!

On a family gathering last year, a 4 year old kid in our family said something like, "When I was young..." and we all burst out in laughter. Later I realized there is no wrong age to say this. All of us conclude who we are when we are way too young and just stick to it. That kills the possibility of what we can grow up to.

We conclude our future and live the future based on our past. Our tomorrow is bad as our today because our today is as bad as our yesterday. Only because we chose to do it that way.

We are the ghost of our own past

We all are. Aren't we? Our past possesses us as like a ghost which keeps coming and going based on its own will. There are regular times we are reminding ourselves of the bad things we did. We fool ourselves by saying we don't repent doing anything but that is untrue. We do repent. The past has possessed us and we have become the ghost of our own past.

We can't let go any bit of our past. That includes what we think are our sins. "Oh, I did that, I can't forgive myself" is something everybody has told themselves at least a hundred times.

You may not be as good as you want to be and that's okay

I have given feedback to a lot of people (hence received an equal number of them) and people get extremely emotional when anybody tells them they are doing bad. The reason is, they are unable to accept the fact that someone thinks they are not yet there. The emotion translates to cry, self doubt or hate. None of these are required. All that is required is to tell yourselves, "It is okay that you are not yet there" and also tell yourselves, "I will get there"

Few Things to say to yourselves everyday

  • I am not born skilled at what I am doing, this is a skill I am picking up.
  • I don't need to be a super hero or a perfectionist.
  • I am a human and by nature humans are fallible.
  • Being hard on myself is a sin.
  • I don't mind others not being okay with me.
  • Let me stop worrying why I am not there yet and use this day to get a step closer to what I am working towards.
  • There is no hurry to living a life. Irrespective of whether it is short or long.
  • I can be wrong and others can be right. I just need to be open to learn that.
  • I am not born to be right all the time.
  • I am okay being the person I am.
  • If I am okay with myself, I shall also be okay with others.
  • Any success that comes by paining myself isn't success.

That's it. Be OKAY with who you are today and work towards bettering the person in you. If the person in you is not getting there, be okay with it. That is the only way you can remain yourselves.

This is a YourStory community post, written by one of our readers.The images and content in this post belong to their respective owners. If you feel that any content posted here is a violation of your copyright, please write to us at mystory@yourstory.com and we will take it down. There has been no commercial exchange by YourStory for the publication of this article.
Pradeep has founded two startups in the testing space. Moolya Testing is a testing services company that has helped top start-ups and enterprises to not be worried about testing and focus on core business. https://AppAchhi.com is an app performance testing and benchmarking platform for 2.2 Million Apps He is also recognized as the Kung Fu Panda since his life story is identical to the movie series. Experience the Skadoosh!

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