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The HE of sHE

The battle between the genders for millions of years has left a deep imprint on every mind and judgment. The start point of every such tussle is the “point of difference". This difference takes an innate form in the genders. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus isn’t a joke after all. But how one deals with the variance does is important. There are two sides to every story. Let's accept it.

I sat on the chair flipping through the menu book of the new eat out place. It was a lazy day and a drowsy weather which would lull me to sleep.

“Hey”, someone called the man who occupied the table behind me.

I placed my order of a cappuccino and a club sandwich. Playing with the tissue paper I waited for it to arrive. Sitting alone is tad boring. I wished for some entertainment but the songs were nothing less than lullabies.

“What does she want?”

“God knows”

“Ask her to the point”

“I did. She’s asking me to throw out the garbage”

“What garbage?”

“Ma and Pa”

“And you said yes?”

“I didn’t say anything. Am torn in between. She’s my wife, they are my parents”

“But no one troubles her. What’s her issue?”

“She finds it annoying to look after my parents”

“I guess even you should call her parents as garbage. After all, they stay at your place as she is the lone kid. You treat them as your own parents. If you can look after them, she can definitely look after your parents. It’s a joint responsibility.”

“If I label her parents as dustbins she’ll throw me behind the bars”

“It’s not easy”

“It is. It is a woman’s world after all”

Dejavu of a saazish from a saas-bahu K-serial, but with a role reversal. Are they victims of feminism?

The battle between the genders for millions of years has left a deep imprint on every mind and judgment. The start point of every such tussle is the “point of difference". This difference takes an innate form in the genders. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus isn’t a joke after all. But how one deals with the variance does is important.

Very interestingly one can decipher the changing scenario with respect to philosophy. If the age of Pisces saw the woman bent, the age of Aquarius is a witness to the rise of woman as equal to man. “Equal”? I doubt it is. If patriarchy was fatal; women empowerment is on its way of the annihilation of another sector. The concept of womanism was to stake rights of women equal to those of men. Every definition of feminism claims equality and no upper hand.

Unfortunately, our fore bearers ruled the clan from Venus. Instead of making a change we are walking the same path with roles reversed.

This takes me back to the world of philosophy. Is equality just a myth? We cherish the idealistic and criticize the reality. But isn’t the effort of attaining equilibrium our sole job? We want things settled, balanced and harmonious. It's human to err to expect such perfection. This expectation isn’t new to the mankind. It exists from the immemorial. The only point is to understand the hidden.

This untold equilibrium is very well explained in our culture where the elements of the universal energy sources are portrayed as “Prakriti/stree” or nature as a female and “Sanskriti/purush” or civilization as a male.

“Prakriti” is eternal and independent. “Sanskriti” is transient and dependent. If “Prakriti” is about freedom then “Sanskriti” is about control. Excess of any of these entities will result in instability.

A man has the ability to give, a woman has the potential to nurture. Why not appreciate these distinct qualities than fight amongst each other? But man enforced control unfathomable which demeaned his counterpart. Today we head in the same direction but with a twist.

Restoration of this equilibrium is taken care by the Almighty. In the past, Sita incarnation as Gowri for Ram took him to glory and as Kali for Ravan catalyzing his downfall. Draupadi manifested through Arjun resulting in his victory and the insult to her made Karna bite the dust.

Today in the veil of feminism, society forgets the roles created by Almighty, forcing unpractical theories, applying regressive formulas and creating cultural hurdles.

Does feminism preach about ruling the other sex?

Amidst the whirlpool of women empowerment are we forgetting the essence of men? If women deserve respect, men should not be entitled to disparagement for no valid reason. Every coin has two sides. Men have started acknowledging women with time. But isn’t this acknowledgment viewed in a dim light? Instead of appreciating some of them for their thoughtful actions, they are labeled with indecent names for the evil deeds of the few others.

If feminism takes the same route as patriarchy did decades ago, in no time shall we see people fighting for male empowerment. This is an endless vicious cycle which will continue for ages to come.

Relationships work with flexibility, understanding, and adjustments and not with fights. Things seen as black and white with generic judgments invite only disputes. If men recognize “freedom” women should also appreciate “control”.

An opus of male and female notes makes a Symphony. The listener who identifies only the male or female notes will never understand the beauty of harmony. A life of melody or melancholy lies within our minds.

Let’s not be burdened by stigmatic rules, outdated rhythms, to compose a genre of “the HE of sHE”. Let’s have progressive chords which continue to develop our society.

She walked down the aisle

For her “He”

Her eyes twinkled with the hope unseen

He nodded a bit admiring her grace

She stood tall for her “He”

The He of sHe was special

Every “He” was not the same

For they both decided one way to start a new life together

The He of sHe being inseparable

Four Seasons and all weather!!

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