The idea of starting up is not always welcomed by parents in case of both daughters and sons. It may be due to financial instability or the fear of failure. The most common question asked by students during various college meet-ups and interactive sessions I go to is – “How to convince my parents, without hurting them?” The solution to sons’ problems is usually straightforward. But I realised that the problems women face is mostly related to our society’s perspective. The most prominent reason for not starting up is attached with their prospective of marriage. The most common conversations which I keep hearing from various daughters who plan to start up are: “Why not start something with your partner”; “Wait for few more days, you can start it after marriage”; “Your in-laws might not like the idea”; Start up might be a deterrent in your marriage”.
What I feel bad about is the ethical and emotional dilemma that we daughters go through in taking up the plunge and leaving behind those who has raised us and meant so much to us. These thoughts have left most women to ditch their dreams and continue either with a 9 to 5 job or being a home-maker, despite having the talent to leave the mark. This post is about my thoughts on how as a daughter we can align our family members to our startup idea, especially when they are placed with MNCs and drawing hefty salaries. The key to convince them is always “Better Communication”. However, the key areas that needs to be focused during such conversations, thereby ensuring the financial, emotional support are as follows:
1. Why start up!
Tell your parents that you want to start up because you believe that you can solve a problem. Let your parents see what this means to you. You may also want to include the factors, incidents that brought the idea of starting up. Also, bring the positivity that your startup will bring to everyone, including family. Paint the larger picture of what you hope to create and share the vision with them. The key should be around your idea and your dedication to pursue the same.
2. Walk them through plan
Walk them through the plan in a detailed way. Try to take up their queries in a softer way and respond until they are convinced. Keep your cool calm and do not think, they will not understand. This exercise in a way is a rehearsal of you convincing about your plan to a larger audience, as once you will go in the execution phase, you might need to answer them. Be confident and assertive as you are sharing your future plans with them. Also be open minded and ready to take up their ideas and views in this journey. It is always advisable to leverage their life experience, which usually comes handy in your startup journey.
3. Share real life examples closer to your thought process
Daughters’ need to share the stories with their parents, which can take up their apprehensions in a positive way. They need to be a storyteller and quote examples from near and dear ones, as this will have more impact on parents as they can relate to them better. They need to tell their parents that how role reversals are happening these days and spouses do support such initiatives. Cater this apprehension with respect to marriage and spouse in a very soft way with more examples. If possible, get someone close and who has already sailed in your boat to talk to your parents. Also remind them all the good work you had done in past with your business acumen.
4. Separate conversations with mother and father
Daughters share very different relationship with their fathers and mothers. You need to explore that facet of your relationship with them respectively. For example, usually fathers have a soft corner for their daughters. Channelise this soft corner and convince them why you would like to be the daughter of his choice and his love and care have made you to do something for him. There could be more similar softer aspects of father-daughter relationship in your case, which you would like to consider as you discuss your dreams.
While having conversations with your mother try speaking to her, what she wanted to do when she was you. This will let her recall her days and ambitions and tell her, you would like to share success stories with your kids and not the regret stories. Tell her how you would be able to make a positive difference in your upcoming generation and she has given you values to keep a perfect balance. I am sure, taking your mother in her times is the best way to strike the right chord with her.
5. Say thank you
It is very important thank your parents for the amazing upbringing. Acknowledge their love, affection and not the typical life-style they offered you. Tell them timely how the independence, clear conversations, trust and faith they have put in you have helped you to stand out of the crowd, and you owe all this success to them.
Last but not the least, like always parents are always protective about their kids. Do give them a backup plan, what if your idea fails. The stronger exit strategy you will show them, more convinced they shall be. Give them a time bound strategy of your startup plan. Let them know, you would like to experiment it for some-time, and would ready to work according to their choice if something goes wrong. This will boost your confidence as well and prepare you well as well. Beautiful Ladies!! Don’t waste time, give wings to your dreams and go ahead for an open conversation with your parents that might turn out to be most beautiful conversation of your life!!
(Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of YourStory.)