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Forget the assailable society- Move ahead in the direction of your dreams than be “Equitably Married Off”

Follow your dreams than following someone else.

Thursday June 01, 2017,

4 min Read

How many of you believe that we live in a hypocrite society, where everyone is ready to force their rules on someone else?

Unfortunately, we are a part of this culture and surrounded by tons of people that have the same philosophy of forcing their decisions on another individual. A girl turns 25, relative starts uttering “Shadi kyu nahi kar dete ladki ki, kya karegi aage padhke? Ghar hi to sambhalna hai. That haunting look in their eyes, God! it has the power to crush any girl’s self-confidence.

I feel pity for the girls who unwillingly have to attend every single family function just so people can see how beautiful their daughter is. Just so people can help the parents to find a good, handsome and rich guy for their girl. From getting dressed in decent ethnic attire with perfectly pleated dupatta to a delicate smile on her face(Even if she feels like running from that place) and to top the charts she is even taught how to blush. What a crash course!!! And the only thing left is people waiting for her to arrive so they can scan her inside-out and upside-bottom.

It makes me feel the girls in their late 20’s are considered as some products reaching their expiry date. And the worst of all is, most of the girls don’t even speak up for their rights, or may be they are not allowed to.

A month ago, I attended my friend’s wedding where I erroneously became a part of discussion with an aunty who in her cultured cultivated words yelled at me and said- “Oh My God!!! Don’t you have a boyfriend, Why don’t you get married, everybody of your age is getting hitched, tell me if you like someone, I will try fixing things for you. The only thing I wanted to do was to flee away from that alien land in fraction of seconds and find a peaceful place where I can avoid my nervous breakdown. But that’s not what I was taught. I decided to give her a confident and a composed answer “ No, I don’t have a boyfriend, and I don’t wish to have one! And if at all I did have, I would single out just my parents. Because they trust me and believe in my choices. If the ones who brought me into this world and taught me all the principles and values can’t sort my problems, NOBODY ELSE ON THIS PLANET CAN.”

In this era, the only thing that matters is the guy should be tall, dark, handsome and must earn fairly well. But, my question is, “Why can’t a girl be financially independent?” What if she chooses not to be a financial burden on someone else, after all, he will be her partner and not an ATM. He might buy solitaire worth lakhs but why don’t people understand, the shine and glitter of the diamond she earns for herself will illuminate her entire world.

As a girl we are trained to take the entire responsibility of home and kitchen on our shoulders, but why can’t a man do the same. Isn’t it working in coalition and not doing a favor for each other. Why does the society confine us in these boundaries? Why are there a predefined set of responsibilities? A marriage is not a contract, it is two people working together in the same direction even if they have a different approach. And, for me, this makes complete sense.

I believe a person must realize his or her responsibilities by his choice and not forcibly. If girl is ready to take care of both the family and office at the sametime, there is no reason why she shouldn't do so.

I am not being a feminist but the truth is what pleasure and happiness will that family give a girl who doesn't understand her wishes and desires? If the family I will be spending the rest of my life with doesn't understand my happiness today, how can I expect them to understand it later on. A marriage can never complete an individual if at first someone has to give up on something. There is no point in pulling yourself into a dictated relationship.

Stop depending on someone else for your happiness. Believe in yourself and your potentials, you are your sunshine and no one in this world can take that warmth from you. I salute the guts of the women who stood up for themselves and who clearly knows where their happiness lies. I salute them for wonderfully sorting out their priorities. I salute them for not giving up on the pressures put down by society. make sure you are prepared for a lifetime commitment. Because as the society says "There is no turning back once you step ahead!"