10 things women need to stop doing to each other right nowPrateeksha Nayak
The Internet is full of happy looking #girlgangs, #girlpower, and #sisters posts. But scratch the surface a little, and you will see how flaky these hashtags are. From publicly shaming other women to talking behind each other’s backs, here are 10 things women need to stop doing to each other:
1) Keeping quiet
Among the many conversations we are a part of daily, a lot involve snide remarks directed at some woman. We have all heard comments like,
“She’s a girl and can get away with it”
“Oh, you are prettier, she doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Is she PMSing?”
Speak up, stand up for your tribe. Today it’s her, tomorrow it could be you.
2) Being judgmental
Let’s not get started on how women are treated the world over. Obstacles have become such an integral part of our daily lives that a day without them seems incomplete. Life is tough and the least you could do for the tribe is be non-judgmental. Don’t we all cringe when the quintessential mom-in-law in a garish daily soap dramatically picks faults with what the ‘bahu’ is wearing or cribs about how the rotis she makes are not the right shape? But have you realised you are joining the party every time you say, “Why’s she wearing that? It Just doesn’t suit her body-type.”?
3) Not being there for each other
We are all leading super-busy lives these days. But when a girlfriend needs you, you have to be there. There are certain things women are comfortable discussing and sharing only amongst themselves. Everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Maybe you are running late and cannot do anything to help her out, but sometimes all she needs is a good listener. So, spare a thought, and a minute and listen.
4) Holding grudges
Yes, we are known for remembering the slightest altercations we have had with each other. We have all had that urge to call that friend from college who we had a fight with years ago and yet, stop ourselves, all thanks to the little grudge we still hold in a corner of our hearts. Let go of that elephantine memory and use it for something more productive. The negative energy of anger is not doing us any good.
“When you gossip, you hex yourself. Because, I guarantee you if you are doing it, it’s coming back on you.” – Iyanla Vanzant
I know how much we love our gossip sessions and how we just cannot do without it. But yet there are times when things go overboard and start turning ugly. Let’s stop talking about people behind their backs. Let’s talk about real stuff instead.
6) Not complimenting each other
As females, we should compliment other females. It’s not a competition, it never really has been. Notice how someone’s face lights up when you compliment them? You might just be having a really bad day but an unexpected compliment makes things a little better. Agree? Do it more often.
7) Body shaming
Kate Middleton’s wardrobe choices on her India trip was heavily scrutinised, but it was one particular comment by a famous columnist on why a saree would not suit her body type that created a furore. And rightly so! We need to stop talking about each other’s bodies and learn to embrace, love, and let people be comfortable in their own skin.
8) Competing with each other
Yes, we all want to win the race. But very often, it is too late when we finally realise that victory comes from unity. Girls compete with each other; real women empower each other.
A 2010 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute says women make much nastier office bullies than men. While some tactically avoid helping other women in their careers, others resort to bad-mouthing. In November 2015, reports of junior boarders being ragged by their seniors in an Engineering College girls hostel in Andhra Pradesh put the administration on the edge and shocked the nation. Bullying can lead to depression and ultimately death. Stop right now.
10) Not helping each other
You know the best feeling in the world is not eating pizza or hitting your goal weight as the Internet wants you to believe. It is when you seek help and get it. It could be something as simple as helping someone who’s struggling to hold multiple bags. The bags here can signify various things. We all know how, at any given point, a woman is handling a hundred different things. Lend a hand, hold a bag.
And no matter how difficult things get, we can always overcome them if we have got each other’s backs. It’s always a good time to stop and start over. Let’s be there for each other and rule the world!