Stop putting yourself down: 7 simple mindset shifts

We all have that little voice inside our heads — the one that sometimes whispers doubts, criticises our efforts, and reminds us of every mistake we've ever made. For some, this voice isn't occasional; it's a constant soundtrack, playing on repeat and slowly eroding self-esteem.

If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," or "I always mess things up," you're not alone. Negative self-talk is incredibly common, yet few people realise just how much damage it can do over time. It doesn’t just hurt your mood for a day; it shapes the way you see yourself, your potential, and even your future.

But here’s the good news: just as negative self-talk becomes a habit, so can positive self-talk. You have the power to change the script running in your mind, starting today. It doesn't require massive, overnight transformations. It starts with small, simple shifts in how you speak to yourself and how you handle your inner critic.

7 ways to stop putting yourself down every single day

1. Catch yourself in the act

The first step to changing anything is awareness. Most of the time, we’re so used to our negative self-talk that we don’t even notice it. Start by paying attention. Notice when you're being self-critical. It might be when you make a mistake at work, forget something important, or even just glance in the mirror.

Tip: Keep a small notebook or use your phone to quickly jot down moments when you catch yourself being negative. Awareness turns the unconscious into the conscious — and that’s where change begins.

2. Challenge your inner critic

Once you catch negative thoughts, don’t just accept them as truth. Challenge them.

Ask yourself:

• Is this thought 100% true?
• What evidence do I have against it?
• Would I say this to a friend?

You’ll find that most negative self-talk is exaggerated, harsh, and unrealistic. Treat your mind like a courtroom — demand evidence, not just accusations.

3. Practice self-compassion

Imagine if you treated yourself with the same kindness you offer to loved ones. Self-compassion means recognising that everyone makes mistakes, struggles, and falls short sometimes. It’s not about excusing bad behaviour; it’s about accepting humanity.

When you mess up, instead of beating yourself up, try saying: "It’s okay. I’m learning. I’ll do better next time."

Being kind to yourself doesn’t make you weak — it makes you resilient.

4. Reframe negative thoughts

Instead of letting negative thoughts spiral, practice reframing them.

For example:

• Instead of "I’m terrible at this," say "I’m still learning and getting better."
• Instead of "I failed," say "I found one way that didn’t work — now I know better."

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about seeing setbacks as opportunities, not proof of your inadequacy.

5. Set small, achievable goals

One major reason people put themselves down is setting unrealistic expectations, and then feeling like a failure when they can't meet them. Instead, set small, achievable goals. Every time you complete one, you reinforce the belief that you are competent.

Example: Instead of saying, "I’ll run 10 miles tomorrow," start with, "I’ll walk for 20 minutes." Progress, not perfection, is the real goal.

6. Surround yourself with positive voices

The people you spend time with influence how you talk to yourself. If you’re constantly around negativity, gossip, or criticism, it’s harder to maintain a positive inner voice.

Seek out friends, mentors, podcasts, books, or even social media accounts that lift you up rather than tear you down. Positive voices help rewire your mind for kindness and encouragement.

7. Celebrate your wins — Big and small

We often brush off our accomplishments as "not a big deal." But if you want to stop putting yourself down, you need to celebrate your wins — even the tiny ones.

Did you speak up in a meeting?

Did you finally tackle a task you were dreading?

Did you choose a healthy lunch today?

Celebrate it!

Small victories add up to big changes. Give yourself credit where it’s due.

Final thoughts

Breaking the habit of putting yourself down isn’t about pretending to be perfect. It's about building a relationship with yourself that's based on respect, patience, and love.

You’ll still have bad days. You’ll still mess up sometimes. But when you treat yourself with kindness instead of cruelty, those moments won’t define you — they’ll simply be part of your growth story.

Start today. Catch that negative thought. Challenge it. Reframe it. Be kind.

Because you deserve to be your own biggest supporter — every single day.