Kerala woman organises divorce healing camps for women, normalises conversations about choices

After her divorce was finalised nine months ago, Rafia Afi’s journey of healing began with acceptance.

The entrepreneur and content creator from Malappuram, Kerala, says that although the end of her marriage was difficult and left her feeling adrift, she never had to face it alone. The support of her family and friends helped her navigate even the toughest days.

Acceptance also opened a whole new world for Afi. 

“I started posting content about divorce, single parenting, and what I was feeling on Instagram. A lot of people could connect with what I was saying. I received DMs from several women talking about their experiences. I realised the end of a relationship leads to pain and women, most often, suffer alone,” she tells HerStory.

The news of women dying by suicide due to marital discord and dowry demands pointed to the lack of support for women choosing divorce over staying in abusive relationships.

“Women are still afraid of divorce, and this fear can sometimes push them to take extreme steps. When such tragedies occur, there’s a lot of discussion — but then nothing really changes,” says Afi.

Healing camps to “break free”

This realisation and her own journey led Afi to create something new: healing camps specifically for divorcees, widows, and those separated—women navigating life after relationships end. 

“I wanted to tell the world that it’s not shameful to seek a divorce. Choosing yourself is something you should be proud of,” she says.

Her initiative, Break Free Stories, began on May 24 with a two-day camp for women at Vagamon, a hill station retreat in Kerala. It was a defining moment that underscored an important philosophy Afi believes in.

“People think the end of a relationship is a full stop. We want to tell them it’s not, you can put a comma there.”

The camp brought together 20 women between the ages of 21 and 50 years, in a safe, non-judgemental space filled with dance, music, interactive sessions, and games.

Afi says the response was heartening.

“Everyone was very excited. Most of the time, after taking a decision to divorce, you feel all alone. But when you meet people who are going through the same, you don’t feel alone. It becomes a strength,” she explains.

She believes talking helps to find that inner strength. 

“I wanted to give women a safe and non-judgemental space to talk whatever they wanted to, to laugh, or to cry. But, it’s okay not to talk, too!” she says.

She speaks of an instance where a woman, traumatised by her circumstances was confused about a direction in life. 

“Taking a break and seeing things in a different perspective helps,” Afi observes.

She has so far organised four camps, and limits the attendees to 20 to help effective connection and participation. She charges a fee based on the property she chooses. She also organised her first camp in Dubai recently.

“I want to organise a camp every weekend. But I am a single mother, help my father in the family business, and also run a community football club. It’s difficult but not impossible,” Afi notes.

When asked if she has faced any backlash so far, Afi is pragmatic. 

“When you are starting a new movement of sorts, you can't expect that the entire world will support you. Change doesn’t happen overnight. You have to constantly keep at it, and reiterate what you are doing,” she says

But she is thankful that women in Kerala are standing up for themselves and their decisions. 

“Being educated helps. I get enquiries from other cities but I feel Kerala is better. At least, they are open to a safe space to discuss this,” says Afi. 

She regularly posts content with her father, and is thankful for the “beauty” of parental support.

“He also came on a video at my first camp, talking about his perspective on divorce. He said, ‘It’s important for parents not to control their children, but to let them fly.’” 

In the end, Afi says, it’s essential to normalise conversations about women’s choices.

“I tell everyone marriage is beautiful—it’s about two people understanding each other and sharing a space for the rest of their lives. But if at some point, there is no peace, it’s beautiful to end something instead of dragging it,” she points out.

“So, divorce is as beautiful as marriage. So the next time you hear of someone’s divorce, instead of asking, ‘What was the reason? What happened?’,  just say, ‘Okay, good. They chose themselves.’”