[International Women's Day] Recognising confidence and building workplaces where women lead

As they climb the career ladder, women are told that confidence is important. They are told to speak up in meetings. Assert themselves. And, demand leadership roles. 

Yet for many women, confidence is not an easy skill to master and may come at a cost. If they speak too firmly, they are termed aggressive and difficult. If they speak too softly, they are called meek and risk becoming overlooked.

They learn to navigate this tough road between invisibility and backlash very early in their careers. And it does very little to boost their confidence.

Several women founders and tech leaders HerStory has spoken to admit that this balancing act has been tough.

One founder recalled pitching her startup to investors who repeatedly asked who on her team handled the “technical side” of the product, even though she had said she had built the technology herself. The conversation often shifted from the product's strength to whether a male co-founder was lurking behind the scenes.

A technology leader spoke of a familiar workplace moment: presenting an idea in a meeting only to see it gain traction minutes later when a male colleague repeated it. Reclaiming that idea required confidence, but also the willingness to risk being perceived as confrontational. 

A venture capitalist recalled attending investor pitch meetings where women founders were often present but remained silent while their male co-founders led the presentations.

How often have women kept quiet because they didn’t want to be labelled as difficult, aggressive, or overly ambitious? How often have they softened an opinion in a meeting, rephrased an email, or hesitated before negotiating a salary, wondering how it might be perceived?

Several women speak of the “imposter syndrome”—the feeling that they are undeserving of their achievements, because they are always second-guessing themselves.

These moments may seem small, but they are important in how women choose their careers or become ambitious to lead.  

Confidence may be considered a personal trait, but it can also be shaped by workplace dynamics. 

Surveys of professionals on LinkedIn indicate that women are less likely to negotiate salary or promotion, partly because assertiveness can carry a reputational risk.

Studies published by Harvard Business Review show that women are interrupted more frequently in meetings, discouraging participation. In entrepreneurship, research from Harvard Business School finds that women founders are more often asked about risks during investor pitches, while men are asked about growth. These signals shape how confidence is expressed and received.

The heartening news is that many organisations are beginning to recognise this and invest in leadership programmes for women. There are specific mentorship programmes that help women advocate for themselves and get onto the leadership track. There are also efforts to introduce pay transparency irrespective of who negotiates better, a man or a woman.

But the important question is whether organisations are rewarding confidence. Are women being heard fairly? Are negotiation processes just? 

When women’s voices are heard, decision-making across the organisation improves and becomes more inclusive. 

It’s not about giving a woman more confidence, visibility, value or authority than men. It’s about giving them the rightful place at the table, ensuring that their confidence carries the same value as everyone else.

(Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of YourStory.)