For last few days I have realized one thing, the more you try to run away from something, the more it pulls you. Be it person, place or situation.
For example, I am dead scared of the world of injections and syringe. Just alone the idea of getting myself admitted into a hospital scares me to the core! So, God made a plan to help me overcome my fear, and dropped me directly into the OT.
With His blessings, I sailed through it. And now when I look back...I feel, it was not that difficult, in spite of all the pain, all the fear, all the negativity around ! Rather, the difficult part is post operative recovery. You have all the good and bad thoughts, you panic, you cry with pain, you see your loved ones in pain because of you and what not. But the truth is, it all fades away with time.
When I came out of the operation theater, I was almost unconscious. I could just see some pink shade, and I smiled inside, it was Maa and slept again.
It was later when I was asked, 'kuch pata chala, dard hua'? (did you get to know, did it pain?). I recalled, God! I was in a completely different world. Yes! I still don't know if it was something psychological or I actually lived or felt something else. I may seem exaggerating things or sound weird to many. But the last few minutes of anesthesia, when I was coming back to life, I was in the roller coaster of emotions and thoughts.
Doctors were trying to push me out of that state but something was pulling me inside. I just wanted to hold on someone and share everything. But I could not. Later on, I tried to explain it to Papa. He made me understand, it is nothing but illusion and might be because of the circle of light above our head. May be he was right. Don't really know what that was! We may not know the treatment procedure and stay away from surgical pain. But trust me, it is a different battle altogether.
The funniest part is when I was nervous about the surgery; my friends were more concerned about the fact that I will have to stay quiet for at least 3 to 4 days. That is the beauty of people and life I guess. These idiots don't let you stay nervous, when you actually want to. They make sure you sail well and have a good comeback. And yes, for me it's like a comeback from one of my biggest fears!
(The writer is an advertising professional in Madhya Pradesh, who loves to spend free time in scribbling small life stories that gives joy, read or dance sometimes.)