Two Mumbai moms build a social platform for people with disabilities

Moneisha Gandhi, an entrepreneur from Mumbai, was concerned about her son Mihaan, who has Down Syndrome, as he approached the end of his school years. Despite excelling academically with tailored support, Gandhi worried that as his friends moved on to colleges of their choice, Mihaan's social network would diminish.

At a parents' forum dedicated to children with disabilities, Gandhi met Gopika Kapoor, the mother of Vir, a shy boy on the autism spectrum. Kapoor echoed Gandhi’s concerns, particularly regarding Vir's difficulties in connecting with peers.

“Vir is a quiet boy who takes time to open up. Structured playdates and other activities always stressed me out,” Kapoor says. She, too, feared that Vir would feel increasingly isolated once his neurotypical sister left for college.

According to a 2022 study by the Christian Medical College, Vellore, intellectual disability contributes to 10.8% of mental disorders, measured by disability-adjusted life-years, in India. The study shows how improving access to evidence-based mental health services for those with mental disorders is the best approach to address the impact of mental disorders in India. However, the evidence based data for intellectual disabilities is difficult to build and most of the prevalence reviews for it in India are narrative.

Research shows that individuals with strong social ties experience lower levels of anxiety and depression, better emotional regulation, and enhanced self-esteem. According to a 2020 study by the American Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, loneliness is a significant predictor of poor mental health among this population, with around 50% reporting chronic feelings of isolation. 

Another report by the World Health Organisation found that isolation can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and even cognitive decline, especially among youth with autism, Down syndrome, and other developmental disorders.  

Unexpectedly, when Mihaan and Vir met at a baking activity, they formed an instant bond that blossomed into a deep friendship. Witnessing the boys’ camaraderie inspired Gandhi and Kapoor to create a platform that could facilitate similar connections for other young adults and teens with disabilities. 

In 2019, they co-founded Buddy Up, designed specifically to foster meaningful friendships among this demographic.

“Once Mihaan and Vir became friends, we saw their lives change,” Gandhi says. “They’ve been friends for four years now; they go camping, enjoy concerts, and are even part of a band.” This transformation underscored the need for spaces where individuals with disabilities could cultivate social bonds, prompting the mothers to offer this opportunity to others facing similar challenges.

Their heartwarming friendship, intimate understanding and camaraderie with each other, sparked an idea in the minds of Gandhi and Kapoor and they decided to create a platform that could give the gift of connection, friendship and socialising to young adults and teens with disabilities. 

Initially, Buddy Up began as a Facebook group, aimed at creating a supportive space for people with disabilities to form relationships and improve life satisfaction while reducing psychological distress. However, during the COVID-19 lockdown, as the demand for social connection surged, Gandhi and Kapoor recognised the potential for their concept and decided to develop it into a full-fledged app.

Buddy Up is designed to bridge the communication and mobility gap for users, allowing them to engage in group chats, attend events, and partake in one-on-one meetups with their “buddies.” Like any app, profiles can be created on age-group, common interests and location. It is for users aged 18 and above, and has a chat and video call feature–which the founders say was introduced mainly to ensure safety and ascertain identities to reduce misuse.

The app’s core mission is to provide a supportive and inclusive environment where individuals, regardless of their abilities, can forge friendships. With the assistance of accessibility consultants, the app accommodates visually impaired users too.

Since its launch about five weeks ago, Buddy Up has garnered 1,184 sign-ups, with 43% of the accounts managed by caregivers and 57% by individuals with disabilities. “We’re completely bootstrapped and are exploring ways to make it a self-sustaining model,” Kapoor states. 

Parents like Smitha Pathak, another user of Buddy Up, have also found valuable friendships through the platform. “We’ve built relationships based on shared experiences, watching our children grow into capable adults who can find friends for life,” she shares. This sense of community among caregivers adds an enriching layer to the Buddy Up experience.

Parents of children with disabilities say they are gifted with the natural ability to spot genuine connection instead of having preconceived notions.

For Mihaan, the app has been a game changer. He tells SocialStory that one of the things he values the most about his friendship with Vir is that he is independent--crosses the road and travels by himself. Together, they have found other friends who are neurodivergent, who perform music together, go for dinners and have sleepovers. “I was worried I would lose out on my friends after school. But today, I have friends all over India,” says Mihaan.