How one woman’s loneliness as a student in NYC sparked a platform for meaningful connections

The first time Rhythm Malhotra cried in America was while standing in a station in New Jersey, lost and not knowing what to do. She recalls that a “fellow” Indian looked right through her as she desperately sought help.

As an extrovert, who was always approachable and found it easy to strike up conversations with strangers, this moment of helplessness sparked an idea in her. 

She had arrived in the United States in the fall of 2023 for a master’s in executive coaching and organisational consulting at New York University (NYU), the first Indian to enrol in the programme.

“I was living in New York and New Jersey and its train system was alien to me. I started crying there, right on the road, thinking how sad it was and how I am never going to stay here (New Jersey),” she recollects.

Her experiences of navigating a new country as a student and combating loneliness would lead to Coffee & Catharsis, a platform that has since organised 21 events, collaborated with organisations from NYU to Amazon Web Services, and even partnered with the outreach department of the NYPD for a unique ‘Coffee with Cops’ session.

Hailing from Panipat in Haryana, Malhotra left home at the age of 12 for boarding school and completed her education in Chandigarh. In 2015, she got her first job in advertising in Mumbai, through a year-and-a-half long programme that picked up 22 people from Tier II and III cities in India.

Realising that people skills were missing in her job, she made an unconventional pivot. She quit, acquired certifications in soft skills training,  and became a trainer “way before it was cool to become one”.  Her freelance work took her to universities and companies such as TCS, but a comment from a trainee changed everything.

“She told me that she never felt seen, and it was the first time someone recalled her name in a long time. I realised there is much more to what I can do than just helping people to speak in public.”

Malhotra had just started The Skillette School that would combine skills and etiquette when the Covid-19 pandemic hit. So, she took her business online and also started posting content on social media.

“From workshops, I got to one-on-one coaching and from soft skills to emotional wellbeing and emotional one-on-one-coaching,” she says.

Several of her Indian-American clients advised her to move to the US and explore a bigger market. She decided that the best step forward would be to study there. 

The shock of loneliness

Once in the US, a stark realisation hit her. “We glamourise living abroad so much—the new experiences, the travel, and so much more. For an extrovert like me to feel lonely came as a shock,” she admits. 

The harsh winter didn’t help either and Malhotra was forced to introspect.

“I told myself, this cannot go on, I need people I can talk with and have a good connection with,” she says.

She set things into motion by posting a Google Form in international student groups. The first meet-up of Coffee & Catharsis took place in February 2024.

“Eighteen strangers showed up at Brookfield Place, an open space in New York. The meet was supposed to be for 90 minutes, but it went on for four hours.” 

Drawing from her coaching background, Malhotra had structured the event with what she calls “heart warmers” instead of icebreakers. 

It asked questions like: When was the last time you missed home? Who’s your first friend you can call here?

These simple prompts helped participants open up about their experiences they had not shared thus far. 

One activity particularly stood out. Participants would step into a circle if they resonated with certain statements. 

When Malhotra mentioned experiences of discrimination, an unexpected truth emerged. 

“I have felt it but not from people who don’t look like me but from people who look like me who have just been here a couple of years before,” one participant had shared.

This moment led to a collective promise. “Two years later, let’s not be in the same spot. Let’s not have any person who looks like us come here and say that person didn’t help me,” says Malhotra. 

Forging social connections

Following its success, Malhotra pitched her idea to NYU. The university gave her a platform to launch ‘Find Your Tribe’, a series that became so popular that the dean of NYU's School of Professional Studies personally attended a session.

"NYU has about 100 events every day, if not more. But people from different nationalities and diverse backgrounds came for my event and they were like, ‘We've never been in a room and felt so safe and felt that feeling of belonging,’” she explains.

From February to August last year, she organised an average of two events per month, maintaining intimate groups of no more than 25 people to ensure everyone could participate meaningfully.

After graduating in August, Malhotra registered Coffee & Catharsis as a company in September. Rather than charging participants, she developed a B2B model, partnering with organisations that pay for her services while keeping events free for attendees.

Her client roster now includes NYU, non-profit A One To World, and recently, Amazon Web Services, where she brought the ‘human side’ to AI discussions, addressing how loneliness affects our relationship with technology.

“The common thread connecting all these events is social connection. Instead of loneliness, I use ‘emotion’, it gets better,” she elaborates.

A chance conversation with an NYPD officer at the Indian Consulate on Republic Day this year led to ‘Coffee with Cops’. The event brought together 30 officers with Indian and Bangladeshi students for one-on-one conversations that many described as transformative.

Malhotra recalls, “One student had remarked, ‘I would never think of going into an Indian police station and having chai with a police officer, and here we were at their police academy.’” 

Coffee & Catharsis focuses on a 50-50 split between student-focused and broader community events. 

Malhotra also organises standalone events that are free of charge.

“This year, I started ‘Catharsis and Pour and Play’ for people to bond over  card games. I try to do a series depending upon what the theme is. We had a big Diwali event last year,” she says.

When Malhotra had posted about an event in New York City, she had people from India reach out asking if she could start something like this in India.

“It’s an audience I want to cater to, and I want to stay in touch with my roots. Right now, I organise offline sessions, but I might want to train people once I have a little more experience,” she shares.

For international students starting life in a new country, her advice is simple but profound. “Do not assume that you are the only one because you are not. It just takes one person to say ‘Hey I want this’ to a new person, to say that ‘I don't want you as just a contact but as a connection. Can we try and be friends?’”

The courage to be vulnerable, she reiterates, is what transforms superficial networking into meaningful relationships. “It’s really that, to be able to just put yourself out there and to be a little brave to be vulnerable because it’s everyone who’s facing it.”