How can women manage selfcare among all other duties?
As women, we must support ourselves with the little bit of self-care amidst everything else that we need to do for those around us and manage our work.
When a man has health challenges, invariably his wife will be the main person doing all that is necessary to support him on his health journey. When a woman struggles with poor health, she will place herself last on the list of daily duties. This is not restricted to India. It is still relevant almost all over the world. Eventually, she collapses with something severe, the man is forced to cope, and several times it can be alarming or fatal.
How can we as women support ourselves with the little bit of self-care amidst everything else that we need to do for those around us and manage our work?
Why do we neglect ourselves?
Digestive issues that require constant popping of pills? Unbearable PMS or peri menopausal symptoms that leave you drained and dejected? Poor ability to burn fat? All these are connected in one way, and that is the lack of adequate self-care.
The problem with self-care is not that we do not know we need it. In fact, we probably crave for it. But what prevents us from prioritising it? Does someone make you feel that you are not priority? Do you feel a sense of guilt when you take time for yourself? Is it the lack of time?
Let’s come to each of these. If someone makes you feel that you are not priority, you can either try to work through those by creating new barriers, or you can choose to find pockets of time for yourself within other times when they are not there. This is so not about judgement. As women, we are all in different situations, and we may not know what happens in another situation. If you feel a sense of guilt, think back to old patterns.
Did someone rush you when you were a child? Did your mother never prioritise self-care? Bringing mindfulness to these patterns can help break the cycle. If it is the lack of time, reframe that. Having an abhyanga takes only as long as an episode on television. One improves our body and mind. The other does not shift anything within us. It does help us relax, but if it was switched, the effect is profound.
How can we interweave self-care into our day?
Women do best when little bits of self-care are brought into the day. And as a woman, let me tell you that this power lies in each and every one of us. The power to heal ourselves is back with the simplest practices that show our body that we love it.
1. Grounding refers to how rooted you are in terms of how safe you feel financially, emotionally, and physically. Bring in some self-care with a foot massage or reflexology. It can release tremendous stress and release blockages in the root.
If you cannot manage that, soak your feet in hot water. It can be as simple as putting a bucket of hot water under the table while you are working on something.
2. Pick one day a week where you have fifteen minutes to apply some warm ayurvedic oil on your body. Spend 5 minutes applying it and 10 minutes soaking in the oil. Have a warm shower after that. The effect is profound. For the rest of the week, you will feel more relaxed and your body temperature is better regulated. If you can manage this 2-3 times a week, you’ll be surprised by how much it supports your health.
3. I have seen women who do not have active time to prioritise exercising. While this might not be all the time, and at times it is just a way we make excuses to ourselves, it does so appear to be the case occasionally. Wearing a device and simply tracking your steps through the day and aiming for 10,000 steps is a great place to begin. It might mean standing more often while doing some task at hand.
4. Soaking your head with an ayurvedic oil like Neelibhringadi oil for 30 minutes while you are cooking or working is another way to sneak in a great hair therapy alongside a powerful protocol that lowers core body temperature and helps to keep hormones balanced. Time it so that you do not leave it for longer than that, which can lead to sinus congestion and headaches.
5. The very best self-care that any woman can do for herself is to prioritise protein at breakfast and not to finish the leftovers from everyone else’s plate.
Are you guilty of eating the bits of fruit and bread from your child’s plate? This one habit is a reason why many women gain wait, congest the lymphatic system, and retain water. Be rigid about this. You are not anyone’s dustbin. It seems as if we are doing the world a favour by not wasting food, but in the process, we are doing ourselves a huge disservice.
6. Finally, sleep is critical. When we put our sleep aside thinking that our world cannot function without us being awake, we drastically disrupt our hormones and contribute to health impact. We must have a strict time, before 10 p.m. and nothing should disrupt that. It is up to us to make this priority as it is the biggest form of self-care.
Begin where possible
None of our lives are perfect. We are not perfect. Begin wherever you can and celebrate the smallest thing you did for yourself each week. Look at bigger things as protocols to work towards a challenge to get through. Gently, push that needle, where self-care, becomes an integral part of your life.
Edited by Megha Reddy