Learning How to Be Successful: What They Didn't Teach Us in School.

Tips on how to be successful in life, career, and relationships:

Knowing how to be successful is one of those things they should teach us in school. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if “way back when” we learned what success really means? What amount of stress could we have avoided if we could have raised our hands in class to ask, “Hey teacher, tell me how to be successful”? While changes are definitely happening in the realm of elementary education, it’s a little too late for most of us. There are only two tasks to get you on your way; define success for yourself and learn how to be successful.

What is success to you? Maybe it’s making a ton of money, healing your mind and heart, maintaining a lasting relationship, or being famous. For every dream of success that we have, there is an underlying feeling associated with it. The desire to be successful, whatever your definition is the offspring of the basic human desires to be accepted and appreciated. Sometimes the acceptance and appreciation we seek is from us! The truth is that most of us want “success” but few of us know what it means to us or how to get it. What is success step 1: In what area of life do you want to be successful? Step 2: Remember it. That’s it. From here on out, your success will depend on your willingness to achieve it.

There are those that do know how to achieve success. Did Bill Gates, Michael Phelps, or that Tom guy from MySpace get successful by hoping they would get a chance to do what they do? It’s obvious that they know a little about how to be successful! Anyone can do what they have done. OK, ok. So maybe you won’t be a gold metal Olympic swimmer or become a billionaire CEO. But if that’s what you wanted, knowing how to be successful at it would definitely go a long way, right?

Being successful is a lot about your perspective of yourself and your own abilities. We’ve all heard that if we want others to value us, we must first value ourselves. This is very true for the successful person. Would Michael Phelps be the world record holder of eight gold metals had he not valued and appreciated his own abilities? Of course not! The same is true for you. If your version of success is simply finding the value in yourself, then you’ve chosen an excellent unit of measurement. An easy way to begin valuing yourself is to prove something to you, for yourself. Maybe you have a habit to break or a project you want to finish. Achieving small goals is one of the best ways to start valuing yourself.

Act for outcomes, not expectations. Expectations can lead you astray from the path of success in two ways. One way is by having unrealistic bad expectations based on history or lack of information. This is because, as humans, we have a nasty habit of forming opinions about an outcome based on feelings we’ve experienced in the past. The second way that expectations can cause a problem is in contrast to the first. We may expect a better outcome based on information or feelings that are not realistic. When we act for outcomes, we take calculated risks. Calculated just means that you thought about what may happen as consequence before deciding on a course of action.

Work at it. The only way to truly be a success is to truly desire to be successful. Success isn’t something that is haphazardly achieved. Bill Gates did not stop working when Microsoft had its first hit program. If he had, someone else would have his share of the technology pie. And someone else will have your piece of the pie if you aren’t willing to put forth the required effort to achieve your dreams of success. If you want to be successful, you might start by planning your success on paper. If its money you’re after, how are you going to get it? Write down a plan and stick to it. Update the plan as needed, but always act on your plan! Unlike other luxuries in life, success is something that cannot be inherited. The only way to get it is to work at achieving it.

Here comes the hardest part of being a success; consistency. Successful people wake up every day and tell themselves in some way how valuable they are. They consistently seek to be successful and practice habits regularly. Notice that they “practice habits”. A habit is something we have learned to do without consciously thinking about doing it. When we practice habits, we are making it a point to regularly do the things that will help us to be successful. One of those habits is telling yourself that you already are successful. If you wake up one morning and say “It’s going to be a bad day”, guess what? It is going to be a bad day. You can influence your own success in the same negative way. Remember, to be anything you must believe that you are that thing. If you want to be successful, you must see yourself as such. Start each day by telling yourself that you ARE a successful person, parent, spouse, professional, etc.

If we truly take the time to define our own meaning of success, create a plan to achieve it, and remember how to be successful, there is nothing that cannot be accomplished. It takes dedication, work, and conscious effort to be a success at anything. Daily, we succeed at a multitude of tasks and goals that take great amounts of work to achieve. Success simply means that those things for which we put forth effort are inline with our plans of success.