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Embracing your dark side

Guest Author
24th Feb 2016
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“Darkness is not necessarily the absence of light. Without darkness there is no light”

The other day at a particularly undefined moment and for reasons unknown to me I took a quiz on Facebook to know what kind of chocolate I was, and much to my delight, the answer I got was dark chocolate. I was supposedly mysterious and intense and bitter at first. It went on to say something more about my sweetness, etc.

That quiz had a point. We women are a mysterious lot. We are intense, can be dark and like dark chocolate, our sweetness has to be experienced. What’s more with us now becoming entrepreneurs and entering other formerly ‘forbidden’ arenas so to speak, we are taking the world by storm and giving every myth, conditioning, and doubt a run for their money.

Darkness_Cover_Herstory
(image credit – Shutterstock)

It is obvious that we are here to stay, we are successful and competitive. But is that enough to really get us where we want to go? There is so much talk about being inclusive, being collaborative instead competitive and having an abundance mind-set; and that list goes on and on.

But are we really all there and all that? Are we all ‘white’? The answer to both these questions is a definite NO! We will be lying to ourselves if we said yes.

The Founder of Analytical Psychology Carl Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

All of us, in this instance it is not at all gender specific, have a dark side also known as our shadow personalities. Just like the shadow that follows us when we are out under the sun, our shadow personalities also follow us in whatever we do or say. Sometimes it is obvious like that little pang of an uncomfortable feeling that we get when we see someone else going a little ahead of us and sometimes it is too subtle to identify. Whatever it is or isn’t, it certainly exists and is entirely normal. Why? Simply because we are human and we come as a package deal.

However, we’ve been told repeatedly that feelings like jealousy, anger, lust (not necessarily sexually inclined), desire and nowadays the competitive edge are things that need to be tucked away or forced out of our system. We have been conditioned to believe through myriad mediums that we should avoid negative thought and feelings towards ourselves and especially others.

Although there is infinite wisdom in those words, it is not always possible. In order to free up our feminine power and realise the potency of our divinity, we need to accept what I will like to call our ‘Goddess Kali’ side.

In order to unleash our full and immense potential, we need to accept ourselves unconditionally and in all aspects of what makes us human.

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely,” said Carl.

We are here to succeed and as women especially we have fought, rebelled, and continue to do so against all odds to be where we are and who we are today.

We don’t need to know what exactly our dark side entails or what it comprises. It is enough to know all of us without exception have one. There is no point in resisting it or trying to push it away from our minds because it will either come back with double force or delay our progress by unnecessarily occupying our mind space.

If we truly want to let it go, we need to embrace it, accept it without questioning it. Words like “I love my dark side” and “I accept my dark side unconditionally” will not only release us from its bondage, but from our own boundaries and limitations that we put upon ourselves.

Each one’s dark side is unique. It’s time to embrace our personal ‘Goddess Kali’, thrive and flourish.

About the author: Cheelu Chandran is a Life coach and the Founder of DeBox, an organisation committed to creating change in the way people think and act through performance based workshops. She is an author and a poet. She has come up with some innovative perspectives to life’s theories which are predominant throughout her book, ‘Life Through a Looking Glass’. Her other passions include Flamenco dancing, singing, painting, creating healthy recipes.

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