6 things to consider before dating your co-workerSanjana Ray
Let’s face it, we all know it probably isn’t the best idea to date within your workplace. And yes, we’re including a ‘casual fling’ in this category as well. Everyone wants to find romance. As human beings, we tend to turn towards the familiar and the convenient every single time. So you tend to form an instant rapport with the people that are around you constantly. Hence, this familiarity tends to breed intimacy and this leads to the danger of falling for someone at you’re working with.
Although this could be your perfect fairy tale romance, your entire job can be at stake. You may convince yourself otherwise, you may think that it’s all part of your destiny or fate. But, just consider how much you’re willing to risk just for a ‘what-if’?
Tip-toe through the morning
When you start dating someone who works at the same office, but you don’t want people to know about it, you’ve got to tip toe a lot. You’ll make a conscious effort not to be too friendly or have too much physical proximity in front of others. But what if things go south? The best part of any break-up is that you can condition yourself to be fine over time, because it’s a typical case of ‘out of sight, out of mind’. But if you’re working with this person, you have to see them every single day, possibly work with them on the same project and speak to them, whether you like it or not. Needless to say, things can turn painfully awkward.
Dating the boss
Or say things don’t go south and are perfect outside the office. What about inside the office? How long do you think you can keep your relationship a secret? Many things can give you away, and as nice as your colleagues may be, don’t you think they may be judging you secretly? If your partner is someone who’s in a higher level up the hierarchy ladder, any form of promotion, compliment or acknowledgement you get for your work will automatically be credited to them. Jokes will begin, first subtle and then with no filters barred. Then, out of irrational responses, people may start undervaluing your work ethics and efforts because they’ll assume you have it easy. You might lose your individual identity, one that you worked so hard for.
Distractions, distractions everywhere
Everyone knows that the honeymoon period for any relationship is the most distractingly sweet phase, where one strays off from the present moment to indulge in fruitful daytime fantasy. And what better way to make that fantasy come true, with your partner sitting at the next cubicle or across the room from you? You might indulge in a bit of fun, but before you know it, you’re drowning out your work and missing deadlines. Then, you might find yourself a step away from being called into the boss’ office.
Too much of you
The idea that there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ of the person you love is a myth. As human beings, we need a basic amount of space to ourselves. When you have to see your partner day in and day out – from the wee hours of nine in the morning until nine at night – it becomes too much. You’ll tire each other out by constantly being around each other all the time, since that amount of ‘healthy’ space also gets negated.
“So is she seeing anyone?”
The month after a break-up can be the most awkward one. After some polite small talk and inquiries about their family, there’s that inevitable fear that they’ve moved on and you’ll have to bump into the new you. Things can get even worse if your partner starts dating someone in the same office.
Don’t mix the two worlds
Chances are that if you’re dating your co-worker, all you guys might do is shoptalk. Since they might know the A to Z of your business and your job, they will be able to contribute and take out much more than anyone else. Although this may act as a plus point for many, it limits your chance to talk about anything else and learn something new. You won’t know a life outside your office. Don’t take away the one chance you get to take a break from eight out of your twenty four hours only to spend the other thirteen in the same way.
If you’re someone who is already in a happy, committed relationship with your co-worker or even married to them, don’t hate us. But be our guest and prove our cynical selves wrong. Maybe that’s exactly the kind of determination the world needs!