Why we happily choose the path to unhappiness?
You have already started thinking “The title is a click bait. I don’t trust internet anymore. Why would anyone want to be unhappy?”
When I say this, I really mean it.
We happily choose the path to unhappiness because we have no self. We live within others. What is our goal in life? Happiness, Greatness, Admiration, Fame, Success — in other people’s eyes.
We live second-hand.
We often tell ourselves not to think about what others think. But our prime focus is greatness in others eyes. A person is famous not because he thinks he is famous, but because others think that he is. We do things to prove a point. What other people think of us becomes our prime motivation and concern.
We don’t want to be successful, but to be think successful.
Imagine a world where other people REALLY don’t care about what others do. Will the motivation be the same for you to do things which you are doing now? In the process of becoming successful in other people’s eye, we lose our self. We start living within others.
A dishonest man knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he is honest and he derives self-respect from that. Does it make him really honest because others think he is? NO! Same is the case with success and happiness. It is second-hand.
Second-handers don’t care about ‘what it actually is’, instead they focus on ‘what others think it actually is’. This is the way how majority of us work. We have been taught to seek ourselves within others. If you had ever asked yourself ‘What is all this struggle for’, you live second-hand.
Ask yourself if you truly wished to do what things which you are doing right now? You would realize that all the success, dreams, happiness are motivated by other people. You are not struggling for material wealth, but for other people’s opinions. This is the reason why
By living second-hand, you will succeed in life by working hard and struggling, but would you be really happy with that success? No. Because you did it for others. You will buy your dream car, but won’t be happy unless your friends are jealous about it. Is that happiness the real happiness?
To be really happy, you need to start living for your SELF. You will have to accept the fact that happiness which comes after living a second-hand life will be unhappiness. The day when you start working for own goals and find success in your own eyes, you will appreciate the struggle and the hard work and be really happy.