Being a Confused 20 somethingAnandini
Its surprising as I type this article because today ,when I stand more inside myself I get to notice a new dimension about me. My parents always subjected me to situations that were unbelievably challenging all throughout but then there came a point where there is a little voice in each one of us, so was with me as well that kept trying it's level best to break free and do what is told not to be done. So this inner loud voice makes people either an extrovert or an introvert . What does our 20 something brain work like ? umm, let's see if you can relate to this.download
In our minds , we are the biggest risk takers -
So was the case with me , when I think of doing something and if I am told that its not possible by me , there comes a strong woman trying to challenge it out to somehow achieve the impossible to show how it is done . But sometimes we are so foolish to not calculate the risks in doing the impossible that until one fine morning an external force comes hitting hard one wouldn't realize it at all as the price we would be paying would be larger than we ever imagined . In my perspective that's the point where we learn independence . I would define it as the ability to deal with the consequences of the choices we make.
2.we do not accept the fact that we were all pampered more than our parents -
So is my story, I had everything perfect never really knew what hard work meant, never knew what being planned, being responsible even meant, I was too pampered to realize the importance of food being timely served by mom even though I wasn't hungry at times. So pampered that I knew if my alarm didn't ring, I still have my parents to wake me up for my exam. How immature of me to take them for granted when they were both working and running along with our study timings as well.
3. we need a reality check to actually learn and figure out who really cares for us.
My whole life changed the minute I stepped out of home and reality hit me hard the first time I was hungry And no one really came to serve me anything until I asked for it. It struck harder when my alarm didn't ring and I had to miss an entire exam just so that I never had those lovely people whom i took for granted to wake me up. Sure we do have friends to sort us out but at the end of the day you are on your own and no one really cares, to be very honest.
4.we think we have lived the toughest life so far , so we know what we want now .
We live in this giant world, connected from the outside but divided from the inside. It took me 5 yrs of my pre adult hood years to learn that life keeps changing so fast , no one is really going to wait for you. Your ticket to deal with this one big ride called life is only by putting yourself out there and asking what you want. So when I say 'asking what you want', definitely needs a bit of an understanding on what do we really need?
5.we think we have "arrived" by earning our degree and getting our first job
During my initial years of my stay with my family I didn't have a clue on what really is my favorite all I knew was the belief of another person who felt it apt every time they chose something for me . I was merely living in everyone's perceptions except mine.I didn't really know what I needed , how would I ?
The day I walked out of college with two degrees and a well paying job I never really thought I could do make it but , here I am , I have arrived ! Is what I thought until I stepped into the giant world of reality.
6. we are very cool in our minds as we have had that image all throughout college , but reality is in your office when your work is nearly close to nothing compared to the guy in the next cubicle.-
So all throughout your college years you are accustomed to be the senior and the go to person for the silliest of things , the coolest person in hostel and the one who plans the upcoming events in college . The attention you get their is so delusional that you tend to believe you really are very good at what you are doing, not until one comes into a professional line , that's where the real hard work , the zeal to prove your worth and the levels of responsibility you are ready to take comes in.
7. we mock at the one who stands up for everything in the office like that weird geek in college first bench-
As you are reading , you might wonder how is it even possible for a fresher to find what he wants or shoulder responsibilities , well in my experience its about "go get it " attitude , you may make it or not but you sure going to learn when you volunteer to take up a responsibility in your work space , chances are grabbed but never served in a plate , unless one stands out be it the tiniest of works you can't possibly hear your independent voice as that's the only guiding force that helps you think about what suits best for you. That's when you know what you really need.
8. We think we are 'independent' by emotionally depending on a guy who is silently enjoying his needs in exchange to fill your loneliness-
I have learnt that the word independent is a bit overrated by many of us 20 something's , we think we are independent by depending on someone who is just not meant for you but only you and the other one knows it . There is a difference between being alone in a giant city and being independent , the price of being independent is not about being in a secretive false relationship as it just does not serves the purpose .
9. we think well payed job is what we deserve though we know our minds that we warm the seats and hide behind the one who actually works
The chance to be on our own is to make mistakes that help us discover ourselves but it's so surprising that we 20 somethings just don't want to be risk takers to discover our new sides to us by jumping in to new learning things that serve us in growing up as people .I do agree money gives you the needed materialistic happiness but then lets face the paradox , we confuse the pay with the work we do , we sure in our minds think we work a lot given the amount of time we warm our seats in office but the real question is how much are we learning there and how much do we put in use.
10. the reality that we don't accept -
No one tells us what not to do in college but then the whole point of not telling is to build that independent thinking by choosing what we need and what to ask for , most importantly how open are we to learning . I conclude my article by putting a question across to you how much do you stand inside of yourself to see where you are going with this chance called "life"and not be a confused 20 something .