Emotionally intelligent people are those who can rule their emotions, have a strong control of how they react to the outside world, and handle people well, among other things. Before the term Emotional Quotient started getting famous, Intelligence Quotient was considered as the factor behind success. There were standardised tests to arrive at a number. Decades of research then confirmed that people who were super-successful owed their success not to their IQ, but to their Emotional Quotient. It separated them from the rest of the pack. Emotional intelligence is that intangible character that is there in all of us, but in different quantities, which helps us manage our behaviour, make decisions (personal or business), and how we interact with everyone.
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What are the signs of a person with high emotional intelligence?
People with high intelligence do not dismiss others’ ideas. There is a lot of self-awareness which lets them react to a situation only after studying it carefully. Someone like them would be the go-to person when there is a lot of trouble, when their friends need a sympathetic ear, when there are unforeseen challenges, etc. They are good at handling people because they don’t judge easily and are usually accepting of most people.
Curiosity towards other people is the sign of empathy. Everyone has a story, and if you are an emotionally intelligent person, you would want to know the story. To know where they came from, what made them settle in this part of the country, and where they intend to go from here, can broaden one’s thinking and appreciation for everyone. The more you care about other people, the more curious you will be.
When we usually say no to a person, there is some sort of emotional discord, because the ensuing conversation, more often than not, is not really pleasant. But an emotionally intelligent person knows that you can disagree and still come out of the discussion with mutual respect. You don’t speak from an emotional state when there are conflicts. You use the facts for the discussion leaving out other things that might hamper your emotional state.
Being emotionally intelligent also means that you have the humility to accept the fact that you are not aware of a lot of things and that it is alright not to know. This makes one open to new suggestions and ideas. This desire to find new things to do and try new ways to approach problems can enhance one’s quality of living.
I have seen people being hard on themselves, not being able to forgive the little mistakes. An emotionally intelligent person would let go of the mistakes that he or she committed and be willing to forgive others who have wronged them. They don’t hold any grudges. If you have made a mistake, learn why you've done the mistake and vow not to repeat it. Holding onto it and blaming oneself is self-destructive. Every time you fall, hold yourself up with love and kindness. If you can’t love yourself, people will not love you either.
Dealing with negative people is frustrating. Emotionally intelligent people keep their interactions with such people to a bare minimum. When you are in a ‘situation’ with toxic people, it is imperative to be much more calm and rational than normal. In such situations, emotionally intelligent people try to find common ground to resolve the situation without delay. They identify their emotions and don’t let anger overwhelm them.
Do you have any of these traits? Where are the areas do you think you need to improve? Identify an area that you think you need to work on. Vow to be consciously aware of having that mental state which you wish to achieve.