The power of influence: Why your inner circle matters most

Dive into the impact of your inner circle on personal growth!

The power of influence: Why your inner circle matters most

Saturday December 23, 2023,

5 min Read

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

This quote from Jim Rohn, motivational speaker and self-help guru, holds a profound truth. The influence of our social circles on personal development is immense. This can be directly linked to the law of averages, which suggests that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes.

While it may sound simplistic, this concept holds great importance in understanding the impact of our relationships on shaping our values, beliefs, behaviour, and overall personality to a greater extent. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have our individuality and our consciousness does not affect building our personality. But research has proven time and again that we're more affected by our environment than we think. 

Hence, we can comprehend and say that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, including ourselves. In today’s article, we will be exploring the power of influence and how you can take control of your circle. 

The power of influence

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and the people we surround ourselves with act as mirrors reflecting our values, attitudes, and aspirations. Let’s understand this from different perspectives:

Positive influences

As famously said by Amy Rees Anderson, "A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected." Let’s say, for example, you spend most of your time with individuals who embody qualities such as ambition, positivity, and resilience. How do you think this would impact you? There is a high possibility these attributes will find their way to you eventually. 

Having a positive and supportive group is no doubt an advantage, as it encourages personal growth and a positive mindset. Positive influences can inspire us to set higher goals, overcome obstacles, and maintain an optimistic outlook even in challenging situations. Remember, even though it's ideal to be closely surrounded by positive, supportive people who want you to succeed, it's also necessary to have your critics as well for a check.

Negative influences

Conversely, spending your time with individuals who are full of negativity, self-doubt, and a defeatist attitude can have detrimental effects on one's well-being. Negative influence not only drains energy but also hinders personal growth. It gets next to impossible for you to break free from limiting beliefs and pursue ambitious goals when you are surrounded by pessimism.

Therefore, you must recognise the impact of toxic relationships on your mental and emotional states, and distance yourself from such influences to maintain a healthy and constructive mindset.

Diverse influences

Now that we have discussed the influence of both positive and negative environments, the question is what if the environment is a mix of both? Well, going beyond positivity or negativity, the diversity of influences within our social circles contributes to our personal growth. 

Hence, indulging in interactions with people from various backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives not only broadens our horizons but also challenges our preconceived notions. This is an ideal environment, we can say as the exposure to diversity fosters adaptability, empathy, and a more comprehensive understanding of the world. 

Taking control of your circle

Taking control of your social circle is a crucial aspect of personal development. Here are some strategies to help you actively shape and manage your social environment:


  • Reflect on your values, goals, and aspirations to determine the people you would like to surround yourself with.

Set boundaries

  • Learn to say "no" to activities or relationships that do not align with your values or contribute positively to your life.

Cultivate relationships mindfully

  • Be intentional about building new relationships. Surround yourself with people who share similar values and goals, and who encourage your personal growth.

  • Recognise toxic relationships and minimise your exposure to negative influences as much as you can.

Diversify your network

  • Engage with people from diverse backgrounds, professions, and perspectives. Embracing the opportunity to learn from different experiences will broaden your worldview.

Communicate effectively

  • Open and honest communication within your social circle is the key. Always address concerns or conflicts constructively to maintain healthy relationships.

Embrace change

  • It is important to recognise that people and relationships evolve. So, be open to making adjustments in your social circle as your goals, values, and priorities change over time.


The relationships we create are threads that weave our life stories. The saying, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with," serves as a reminder of the profound influence and responsibility of being intentional about the company we keep. Doing that will not only shape our destinies but contribute to the collective positive change in the world.

However, remember that taking control of your social circle is an ongoing process that requires mindfulness and intentional effort. Hence, by managing your relationships actively, you can create an environment that fosters personal growth, positivity, and overall well-being.