⁠⁠The Shocking Truth About How Many Friends You Can Actually Have

Ever feel overwhelmed by your social circle? Feel like you have too many friends but don't have the energy to deal with everyone? There's a surprising scientific theory that might explain why. The size of your social circle directly ties to the size of your brain!

The Dunbar Number: Your Brain's Buddy Limit

Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, proposed the "Dunbar number." This theory suggests the human brain can comfortably maintain close, meaningful relationships with around 150 people. This number supposedly reflects the cognitive limit (thinking power) of our brains for keeping track of social connections. It decides the amount of information we can process about different individuals, and is based on the idea that our brains can only handle keeping track of so many close social connections.

Why 150?

Think of it like juggling social balls! Keeping track of birthdays, inside jokes, and personal details for more than 150 people gets tricky. The Dunbar number suggests our brains prioritise these close connections, forming a core social circle, and it suggests that our brains can only handle a certain amount of buddies before the quality of those relationships starts to decline.

It's Your Closest Friends

While 150 might seem like a lot, Dunbar's Number is really about the quality of your relationships, not the total number of people you know. These 150 would be your closest friends, the ones you can truly rely on and confide in.

Why the Brain Matters

The theory behind this magic number is that the size of our social circle is limited by the size of our neocortex, the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought and language. In simpler terms, the bigger your brain (or, more specifically, the neocortex), the more friends you can have. This doesn't mean people with bigger heads have more friends, but it highlights the brain's capacity to manage complex social networks.

The Layers of Friendship

Dunbar's theory goes even deeper, suggesting that our social circles are like layers of an onion. At the core, you have your intimate buddies (around 5), followed by good friends (about 15), then your friendly acquaintances (150), and it keeps expanding to include more distant connections up to 1500 people. Each layer requires a different level of emotional investment and time commitment.

Quality over Quantity

What this all boils down to is the idea that maintaining meaningful relationships requires brain power and emotional energy. It's not just about collecting friends; it's about nurturing those connections. This might explain why, after a certain point, new "friendships" feel more like acquaintanceships—you simply can't devote the necessary brainpower to make those relationships deeper.

Modern Social Networks vs. Human Nature

In today's digital age, it's easy to rack up hundreds or even thousands of "friends" on social media platforms. However, Dunbar's theory suggests that, despite what your social media profiles might indicate, the number of meaningful relationships you can maintain is still capped by your brain's capacity. This discrepancy might shed light on why people can feel lonely in a crowded online space.

Cultivating Your Circle

Knowing about Dunbar's Number can actually be quite liberating. It means you don't have to stress about not being able to keep up with every single person you meet. Instead, you can focus on deepening the relationships that matter most. It's about quality, not quantity.

Prioritise your close connections, invest time and energy in those who truly matter, and don't feel guilty about letting the more peripheral relationships take a backseat.

In the end, the surprising truth about how many friends you can actually have encourages us to cherish and nurture our most meaningful relationships. While it's nice to have a wide network of acquaintances, true fulfillment comes from the depth, not the breadth, of our connections. So, go ahead and focus on those who truly enrich your life—you now have the perfect excuse for why you can't possibly keep up with everyone else.