I was the hero, heroine, and the story: Actor Shakeela talks of her Malayalam cinema days

Bold, brazen, feisty—you can call Shakeela by many names. Most importantly, she is unapologetic about the films she starred in. “I was the hero, the heroine, and the story,” she said, with a lot of pride to screenwriter Deedi Damodaran on the sidelines of the Kerala Literature Festival in Kozhikode last week.

In the 90s, actor Shakeela arrived like a storm in Malayalam films, with a series of soft-core pornographic films leading to her cult status. Looking back, her popularity in Kerala is said to have eclipsed those of the leading stars of the time.

She started her conversation with Damodaran with a bang.

When asked about faking orgasms on screen, she countered by asking the audience, “How many women here can say they have had orgasms and enjoyed them? Don’t be shy about it.” 

“I am good at acting—if I have to cry on screen, I take inspiration from Manoramji (yesteryear Tamil actor); if I have to do a funny role, I think of Urvashi. For orgasms, I have to rely on my own experience. I don’t have anyone to be inspired by,” she said, as she chuckled.

This set the tone for a no-holds-barred, “ask-me-anything” conversation.

Shakeela spoke about her experiences in the film industry, her connection with the transgender community, and why the Malayalam film industry is not offering her any roles now.

Interestingly, while the talk was to be centred on Shakeela’s take on morality, she claimed to not understand the meaning of the word. But she agreed exploitation was rife in the industry when she was a part of it.

“There were filmmakers who used to shoot scenes without context while shooting for a film. Later, I found those bits were included in other movies. I had no knowledge of the language then or the meaning of the dialogues. I later insisted that the films be shot in Chennai,” she said.

The same applied to camera angles. She understood only from experience how they were used to reveal more of her body. Slowly, she started giving instructions to the cameramen and held her own.

Shakeela revealed that for Kinaara Thumbikal, she was paid Rs 20,000 for a five-day shoot. After it became a big hit, she realised that she was not being paid enough.

“This soon changed, and after more films became hits, I insisted I be paid Rs 3-4 lakh per call sheet, and I would have at least two call sheets in a day. When over 60-70 cheques bounced, I started accepting only cash,” she added. 

With exploitation becoming an inherent part of the film industry, would an Internal Complaints Committee (ICC) be the right move?

Shakeela pooh-poohed the idea, saying it was time to be pragmatic.

“Do you think they will offer you work after you complain against anyone in the film industry? How many offenders are punished? We do not have laws that offer severe punishment,” she pointed out.

She also believed that the #MeToo movement did not serve any kind of justice to the women. 

“I am telling the film industry, make me a part of the ICC, I will ensure every complaint is taken seriously. I am on my own, don’t have a family, and have nothing to be scared of,” she said.

Shakeela also spoke of her friends in the trans community who she considers her “true friends”.

“Initially, I was curious about them. But later, I understood what they go through—the rejection, pain of transition, and unaccepted by society. I decided to make them my “sister”—they are human beings who deserve a life like all of us. We are nobody to judge them for their identities. Please don’t be afraid of them. Give them love, and they will love you back,” she urged.

She also spoke of wanting to do characters far removed from who she is in life.

“In real life, I am a strong person. I want to play a timid or meek person. I am looking for roles that challenge me. Unfortunately, I think the industry is scared of me and is not offering any roles,” she added.