I don’t remember all of them, but they were all probably equally painful. In each one of them, I had fingers in my ear, tears in my eyes, fear in my heart, and anxiety through the charts. I tried to soldier through them, pray through them, cry through them, rage against them, but each of them has been equally emotionally and mentally draining. In each of them, I tried to put up a brave face, probably fruitlessly, in front of my friends and family. But I did not run away from them because they are important to my family and hence they are important to me.
These are not the experiences one would usually associate with Diwali, but these were mine. Yes, I am an adult having a fear of firecrackers. Technically, I have Phonophobia or Acousticophobia.
I am not writing this blog to stop anyone from using firecrackers. I am not writing it to ask for any rules and regulations to be imposed against firecrackers. I am, off-course, not writing it to stop anyone from celebrating Diwali. I understand the significance of Diwali in our culture. After all, it is one of the favorite festivals for most Indians. I know it is to my own family. Lastly, I am not writing this blog to educate people on usage of firecrackers or technicality of Phonophobia. I have no educational authority to do that.
I am writing this blog to reach out to a very specific audience. I want to reach out to my fellow Phonophobians. You, off-course, are not alone. I share your pain. I know the feeling of heart thumping with every loud burst. I know the feeling of heightened anxiety. I know what it is like to cry in your room while the world outside is celebrating. I know what it is like to get laughed at by relatives at knowing that you still afraid of firecrackers as an adult. I know the pain you still take to put up a brave face. Because I do too.
I am writing this blog because I want to know your stories. (It may be in any shape or form). I want to share your experience. But most of all, I don’t want to endure this experience alone anymore. I need your company. I especially want to hear from you, if you found a solution to this problem long ago, and I have moronically endured this problem in all these years. The least we can do share our pain. The most we can do is help each other overcome this problem and make some new friends. So, please share your stories.
If you are not a Phonophobian – you lucky dog, I want to sincerely thank you for reading my blog and sharing my pain.
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Note: The intention of this exercise is simply to share interpersonal experiences. Each of your response would be personal and confidential. Experiences can be shared anonymously.
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