Remember the first few months of e-commerce in India, when books were the only things you buy online? Then we got electronics, fashion, this, that, everything online. In fact, items from dildos to Gangaajal are available for purchase online now. So are animals, vehicles and even houses. We even found a train and second-hand toilet seats for sale: although chances of the sale happening must be zero. Well, the world is getting weirder every day, so why not the goods on e-commerce? These are favourites in the list:
Ear wax vacuum cleaner – In case you are too lazy or too dirty for an ear bud. Or too sceptical to go to a doctor, or if you have OCD. Hey, Flipkart is offering a discount too!
Luxury yacht – Snapdeal will help you with it when you want to go on a holiday. Unless your holiday is an emergency, do make sure you have parking space first.
Condoms –Well, it could change your life and hence could be the most important item on your grocery list. And delivery boys have lesser chance of judging you than your pharmacist.
4. Solar fan cap – Summer is coming, you better take care - with a fan on your cap. Warning: you might get stared at, so this is for the brave hearts with 'Sun is the secret of my energy' attitude.
5. Cow dung – Okay this might make you go 'Holy s**t!' but hey, that’s the whole point. You can’t find a cow dung cake as easily as you could find a chocolate cake. Okay?
Horse shoes – you don’t need a horse for buying this one. Apparently, it keeps evil spirits away. But if you do have a horse, you better go to ShopClues so that your pet won’t be possessed!
Toilet pillow – Because, who doesn’t want luxury when take care of 'business'? Take a magazine, or open Instagram on your phone, and relax on the cushioned seat. 'No pillow, no buttock' could be your mantra!
Slippers with LED light – We still have power-cuts in the country, so this one might just be a good investment. Also, you could spook your housemate out at night with some creepy music!
9. Arm pillow – Good partners are so hard to come by, and now you don’t need one! If you are anti-social, yet sulk for a hug once in a while, this one is for you.
Eye massager – because you might poke yourself in the eye if you use fingers! Amazon says it is frequently bought together with err...handcuffs. Relax your eyes and get the action on, anyone?
It does not matter how weird these items are; moral of the story is that online shopping provides more privacy than physical retail, and a chance to experiment and keep a secret. On the other hand, it is also the proof of the wide reach of e-commerce platforms that the same players offer sex toys to religious items in India. On a day when you feel a little extra weird, log on to these websites, and shop till your inner weirdo gets a kick!