A great man doesn’t stand alone. A great man didn’t succeed on his own.
If anyone tells you they did, then he is a liar.
The realization that you can’t make it on your own completely; ignites the question of who should you seek out for help?
Most cases we seek advice from friends and loved ones. That is our natural course of action. But what happens when our trusted advisors are wrong. What do you do when the people you seek advice from doesn’t provide you with the necessary feedback or interest? You most likely either choose to believe them and follow their guidance. Or you go against them and create unnecessary friction.
In all honesty most of the time, the people around you advices you with good intentions. So feeling contempt towards them is a bit frivolous. They are only trying to help; in the only manner they know of.
“You’re the average of the 5 people you spend most time with”
The underlying meaning behind this quote is, who you spend time with influences the person who you’ll eventually become.
The company you surround yourself with can elevate you as much as they can bring you down.
If you want to become a better salesman. You need to surround yourself with people who have the same goals or people who have achieved what you want to accomplish. By surrounding yourself with the right people you will eventually adopt many of the same successful traits that have projected them to achieving their goals. However this also means if you surround yourself with the wrong people you’ll just end up being just like them.
But isn’t dependence on others for success a weak trait? Not true.
This is not about being dependent on others to an extent that without them you will not “make it”. You are not being dependent of them in the helpless puppy kind of way. You are simply influenced by them and inspired by them. Because in the end you chose how you will act, and if you would want to be influenced by these people. If you feel that listening to them does not benefit you adequately to your desire, then maybe you should seek advice elsewhere. This is not an act of cruelty. But simply looking out for yourself and putting yourself first.
In my personal experience.
When I was surrounded by people who I felt was negative and self limiting. No matter how positive I was and how much I kept striving for higher excellence. Their negative residue would affect me and rub off on me. The more time I spent with them, the more negative I got and adopted the same traits they had.
Then I met a bunch of highly positive people. Motivated. Determined. Didn’t take no for an answer types. Immediately I was inspired. I was invigorated by their enthusiasm. This naturally rubbed off on me and as time went by I would become more and more like them.
As you can hear if you are interested in achieving a goal. Then surrounding yourself with positive and motivating people will make you into a proactive individual, who takes responsibility of his own situation and strives to shape his own future. If you surround yourself with negative people, who feels life is pointless, then you will eventually descend upon their level, no matter how positive you initially were.
Does that mean you should sever these contacts? Of course not.
But you might want to limit your contact with them when you are trying to strive for you own personal goal. It’s only when the person is seriously effecting you and dragging you down that you should consider severing ties.
Identify 5 persons who posses the qualities that you desire
Find 5 people that posses one or more of the qualities that you seek — It doesn’t matter if this person is an individual, someone you know, a famous person or a deceased. He can ba Bruce Lee, Michael Jordan, Bono or Donald Trump. Learn about and from these people. Study them and what they did. A great way is by reading an self-biography if available. You want to hear it from the man’s own words. Try to avoid a biography written by someone who is not the man himself.
Find new company
If the people you are surrounded with are small minded. They don’t provide you with enough constructive feedback or even the slightest support. Then you should find new company. That doesn’t mean replacing people. It simply means that they are not whom you should discuss with about these matters.
You don’t discuss about football with your mother, if she doesn’t have the slightest interest in it.
You discuss football with your father because he is interested and therefor able to give you feedback.
So it’s all about finding the right company to express your ideas, concerns and thoughts. Because in those halls your words will be heard.
How do you find this great company?
One way is by looking for a community. Usually with any interest there is a market. When there is a market, there is usually a community. Find that community (usually a forum), interact with the members of that community. Don’t just come and be value taking. Add your own value too the community either by sharing your experiences or your difficulties. Giving advice on matters you might find simple is also a great way to add value. You might think what you have to offer isn’t as valuable as what others provide, but the mere act of you adding value, will be noticed. Making people more interested in you and what you’re all about. Then connect with more senior members and start cultivating relationships that might evolve into the great company you’ve been looking for.
So your actions should be:
Contact these people: If possible directly contact these people and learn at first hand.
Investing in their products: If contact is not possible then investing in their products is one way to learn from them. DVDs, books or seminars are viable options.
Be an active participator: You need to be an active member in the community, just don’t create an account, write 2 post and never visit the place again. You need to be constant contributor.
Have you ever been influenced by a group either positively or negatively? Share down below, and send this to someone who needs a few words of wisdom.