The hardest phase..Sanjana
That was the time I was enjoying my teen girl life.I think you got me right..! Yes , I used to hang out with friends,have girly conversations(pretty less but ya...)I am a girl who used to think about how to evolve in life and make things better,how to make my parents proud and all the stuff.But who would expect that things would change this horrible..? I was shocked,frustrated,stressed ,depressed...
I remember,it was in my 10th grade,that suddenly I started performing poor in academics.Internally I knew that too..but in the process of improving, all happened. Till then I scored good. My parents had to take care of me(academics). I was not conscious about what was happening to me.I was told to study hard because it's going to add to my 10th grade performance(which is a turning point for everyone). But the care turned out negative that it stressed me because I knew that something was terribly bothering me but not sure what was it.It carried on to the next year....thought it would end,but didn't.Came another year(3rd year),slowly things started figuring out better (remember slower than a snail)
But the first 7 months of the year were like horrible,can't even imagine. I still remember the day April 22nd,2016,the worst day of my life.At then I decided not to talk to anyone but just remain silent..like not even utter a word ,not to mingle with people around me,felt like I am the only person on the planet and that people around me strangers,I used to hate them even when they were good to me.It was this phase of my life that I wasn't sure I was alive in this world.I used to feel alone,I hated talking to people,stepping out and chilling out with friends,because all thought I was normal, but I wasn't.I wanted to tell people everything that was going on to me,but I couldn't because I felt none would believe me.I later figured out to myself that it was a mentally unstable condition due to depression.Depression causes mostly due to stress(none knows where it comes from), it can arise due to any sort. There were days when I used to cry for peevish things,wake up at nights and cry loud(not the voice),having suicidal thoughts,I felt like going to a place where no living creature exists,speak nothing else but just THIS. I started reading books sthat inspire and make me better.
I don't know why I spoke to that person all of a sudden instead having other people close around me.It's been just a year that I know her at then.She is my aunt. I told her what I was feeling.We had so much conversation and it went on for a week. She stays in another country,I felt like booking my flight ticket and just flying to her but doing nothing.After few days she surprised me with her visit,in fact she didn't expect she would be coming, everything just happened all of a sudden.She cared and pampered me just like a baby. Th way she cared and understood me, built up the HOPE in me.Till then I was not confident and hopeless that I had nothing to do with my life.But ya,she played a very important role in my life.I learned to be STRONG in life,which is very important for an individual.Then I realized that what I needed was some love and affection from the people close to me.Thank you Luv!
Later came my most favorite person,my uncle. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. It was just means just because of him that I remembered that I was alive and that I am his sweetheart. Thank you for saying that..! He showed me what Life is.
Among you all ,may be at least one must have thought about my parents. Because they are the first to everything.Yes, they played the most important role than any other.May be they were busy with life and it's knots.They didn't find the time to figure it out at first.But later they played a very crucial role in the process.I wouldn't have known the principles of LIFE without my Mom.
So my dear readers,make sure you love the people around you,stay happy and make others happy, because life is just a span of thread right..? So ya, make sure your close ones are alright and care them.
And Parents,make time for your kids out there and spend some quality time with them and appreciate for what they are and their ability.BE THEIR BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE.
Thank you all.
- Sanjana Soudamini