Why you should say 'No' more than say 'Yes'Mathew J Maniyamkott
Humans are social animals, we like to be loved, avoid confrontation and are more likely to say ‘Yes’ when we really want to say ‘No’. This stems out of the fact that there is nothing more humiliating than being called a pushover or a doormat by your friends and colleagues. When we think of it, saying ‘Yes’ to something that we do not want to do invites all sorts of trouble with regards to time, stress, relationships and money.
But it is hard to say no. Extremely hard.
It makes us feel guilty and selfish. But every time you say ‘Yes’ to someone while you wanted to say ‘No’, you part ways with valuable time. Learn when to say no, this will help you gain control of your life and decisions.
Work engagements come with a barrage of deadlines, this is followed up with general acts such as socializing, taking care of the kids, looking after parents, all of this and more consumes the major hours of your day. Putting in that extra day’s work, especially when you are hard pressed for time, will infringe on your personal time. If you happen to say ‘Yes’ this one time, your boss wouldn’t mind taking advantage of your nicety again.
Let us see why you should say ‘No’:
Successful people are good at saying ‘No’
All of us have struggled with saying ‘No’ at some point in our lives. Successful people had to go through this stage too. None of us can afford to keep saying ‘Yes’. You don’t have to soften the blow when you say ‘No’. A point blank ‘no’ with a polite explanation would suffice. Your time matters to you most and not anyone else. Successful people know this factor and that is why they do not come up with excuses when they want to say ‘No’.
You do not have to please everybody
Only a people pleaser would be forced to rally around everyone’s demand. There is no need to make everybody happy and it is entirely not worth the effort at all. People who say yes too often want to be liked by all and sundry. This is damaging to you as you lose focus in the heat of trying to make someone like you.
The number of man-hours you save
Imagine the number of hours that you end up saving when you say ‘No’. You only have 24 hours in a day and more often than not, it is packed to the hilt. Don’t let others determine your agenda for the day, the week or your life. Use your time to reach your goals, if you can make someone else achieve their goals without wasting your time, there is nothing better than that. But never do something at the cost of your personal goals and time. Do something only if you think it is worth your time.
You create boundaries
Saying ‘Yes’ to all would only allow people to trample your boundaries. If you are a ‘Yes’ man, people wouldn’t stop asking for favors, even if it seem way out of line. They will still expect you to do it because you have not set any boundaries for these people. Use these phrases more often: “I do not want to do this”, “I am not comfortable doing this”, “I charge for this work, you can go to my website, make the payment and it’ll automatically direct me on the things to do”, etc.
Say ‘No’ to that friend who wants you to join him on Friday night for a party while all you want is go home to your dog, cuddle and sleep. Say ‘No’ to the friend who wants you to invest in his billion-dollar plan, which you do not see gaining any sort of traction at all. Better yet, if you could help him out with advice on improving his business model.