This is a user generated content for MyStory, a YourStory initiative to enable its community to contribute and have their voices heard. The views and writings here reflect that of the author and not of YourStory.
What causes people to live double lives
This is a user generated content for MyStory, a YourStory initiative to enable its community to contribute and have their voices heard. The views and writings here reflect that of the author and not of YourStory.
Having a double life is usually associated with the world of professional spies and the like. But apparently common women and men sometimes cover up unbelievable secrets from people nearest them: their loved ones, friends and colleagues.
Psychologists claim that a large number of people are living in 2 separate worlds, captured in their own lies, shame and guilt that eventually power them into behavior which is way too different from their daily lifestyle. Having a secret life is not as unusual or abnormal as you may think. According to latest research, seventy percent of all men and fifty percent of all women are going to have an adulterous event at some point in their life. This implies that the vast majority of all people will live a double life at some point.
The question is what happens when this behavior takes over, damaging careers, breaking families and, sometimes, ruining the lives of many people? Professionals say this risky duality can come from a person’s lack of ability to include two inconsistent, reverse factors of a character. But individuals who are not able to do this, specialists say, can end up breaking off the different factors of their character. They divide their lives virtually developing two different selves who act in completely opposite ways. Lying takes over their entire life. However to some point, duality can be found in most individuals’ lives, specialists say. We all have some special fantasies that are usually harmless but only until they become reality.
Fantasies are often personal and secret, but they are not hazardous. Everybody has fantasies, and usually they are lively, playful and forward-looking. You think about yourself in a different profession. You imagine yourself as super popular athlete or something like that. Professionals say that it is also not unusual for most regular, well-adjusted individuals to have a public self and a personal self, however some individuals get carried away when discovering the other part of their personality, developing a scenario that is risky and dangerous. This can be obsessional sometimes, excessive and unreasonable, and it can be performed without much respect for the repercussions. The risky dual lifestyle can also be one form of self-sabotage found in individuals who don’t feel they are entitled to be successful or satisfied.
The dual lifestyle unravels when the individual is captured and the secret exposed. Some activities may be a subconscious cry for help, but specialists say there are methods to put a stop to the activities before problems. It’s important to identify what’s occurring before things get out of control. If, for instance, you find yourself in ongoing high-risk activities (having affairs with numerous people, betting away your pay), and those activities have an obsessive character that makes them risky and distressing, experts say it is an alarming situation that needs to be addressed.
Psychologists point out it’s also important to understand that although the secret, the strange behavior seems to be beyond your management, it’s really a self-determined course of action that can be changed. You just need to think about the potential consequences of your behavior.
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