Loneliness and fear of being judged keeps us away from talking and being real... which leads to more loneliness and pretension and ultimately we forget who we really are ..... so talk and make others talk... don't get caught up in the whirlpool of ambient noise... listen to your voice!
Yesterday, i heard about a high ranking official of a company having committed suicide. Shocking! The article said that he lived in a posh apartment complex, drove fancy cars, was invited to the most happening parties in town, beautiful kids and wife… what went wrong????? Got me thinking too “a philosophical debate in my mind “– what goes wrong –when we hear of suicides –of people who are so called “well paced” in life; having the best of everything … What ticks off?
Reminded me of an incidence of a friend I made while working in McKinsey. A full of life friend with a great sense of humour, he had migrated to Canada and then to UK and had settled with a great banking job and bought a fine apartment. I met him two weeks before he was found dead in his apartment - a suicide. It was a huge shock. We had just met – he was so excited to show his newly bought apartment in a great neighbourhood- seemed happy with his life – no complaints when we met and no signs of depression for sure.
Yesterday, my thoughts went way back to the time when I had heard the news of my friend. I could not stop thinking deep as to why do people take such a big step in their life. What drives it – is it loneliness. Are th-y tired of pretending?
Loneliness has become a huge plague in today’s society. The fast-paced whatsapp and Faceook driven world keeps us busy but makes our world lonely. We have hundreds of friends on our phonebook but none to call. What’s worse! We are scared of people judging us! Scared that if people get to know the real “me” what would they think of me – coz I myself don’t know myself anymore because I have been so used to pretending to be someone else. The need to make the life sound so perfect drives the bigger vacuum of loneliness – the more we pretend to be or look happy the worst it gets!
Blessed are those who have close friends and relationships they can talk to without fear of being judged, without the mask and the façade; without wanting the certificate of appreciation. Most people don’t find that one relationship in their life as an anchor point to vent out or to get guidance when they feel their world is falling apart.
So Talk! Talk fearlessly and let people like or dislike the real you, with all your shenanigans, your not so fancy life or not so great happiness quotient. It’s okay. The day you can talk real, that day there will be acceptance from within of who you are and that day you would have broken a shield and moved way ahead on your soul road!
We owe it to ourselves to be real, stay real and encourage those around us to be real. Faking happiness will only make you feel more miserable. Its okay to not be happy sometimes. Everyone has good and not so good days… and we all get over it and move on and find the next best thing to be happy about! Cherish the real relationships you have in your life for you don’t know how blessed you are to have them and say it often to them that you are you because they help you be you!
Say It! Talk ! Vent ! Laugh ! Be Thankful!