Life is sad, miserable, and complicated. But you can change it.
Understand what is standing in between you and your dream lifeIyyappan Chandramouleeswaran
If you are like me, you are probably sitting in front of your laptop or staring at a window or pretending to listen to your girlfriend (or boyfriend), but thinking what am I doing with this life?
Let’s face the truth. Some of us are not lucky enough to find our passion early in life or become successful at it.
You probably have a master degree from a top tier university, have a job that pays you heftily, have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) who loves you dearly or even have a family with lovely kids, and yet you are unhappy with your life. Your bills are being paid and you have everything that the rest around you may not possess, but yet you can feel a tiny hole in your soul that is growing day-by-day, and you somehow know that one day the hole is going to consume you alive. The thirst for “what next?” is going to suck you up dry.
You watch hundreds of videos and read books after books that promise to get you out of the misery. But nothing works out. You always feel like you have ended up back to square one, regardless of your efforts.
But, hey! It’s not the videos or books to blame, but you and I, for our own misery.
Do you know that we live in a pattern? That is created by none other than us.
Let me explain how our mind works and how our life gets molded into a “pattern”.
Have you noticed some people passionately talk about how they want to do something in life that will make a difference? How they want to write a book or start-up their dream company. But when asked, “when are you planning to start?” it ends up with the usual replies, which goes like (with a big gasp) “I don’t know man, I am handling this big project for my office. Can’t really think of something else right now” or “I am married and have kids now. It’s hard to get time to think beyond them.” or my favorite, “I am too old for this I guess. Don’t you think?”
We have all been there and said those reasons with a little guilt behind our face.
We all have the desire to do something great with our lives, but when we think of actually getting to start working on it — the pattern hits us. And the reasons that we give are actually the reflection of our life’s pattern.
So how are we creating these patterns for ourselves?
The pattern is maybe because of our past life, current life, society, family, our work, studies, or even sleep cycle. It can be anything. But it feeds our mind and creates a rule that our body starts to follow rather strictly. And the moment we seriously think of getting out of it, the alarm hits our brain and that’s when we feel the fear or anxiety.
So how to get out of this pattern?
Have you watched Bill Murray’s movie, Groundhog Day? Where the protagonist lives the same day over and over again. Funnily (or may be not), the storyline of the movie is kind of similar to what I am saying here.
In the movie, the protagonist, Phil, fixes everything only after he accepts and understands the circle that he lived in. Its pretty much what we have to do.
The first step of any change is to accept our current state and give time to understand it. You don’t have to rush with your life. Take a step back and try to figure out the pattern you live in.
The trick is that we usually follow a pattern because, for us, the next step of our life should always approve our previous step. For example, in my bachelor’s I chose program related to biology because it approved the years that I spent studying biology in my high school. I jumped right into a job because it approved all the time I spent and the money I invested on college.
If I have a chance, the me now would advise the me then to take a pause or a step back to see if the way I was planning to go with my life would satisfy my inner self in the long run.
That’s exactly how you can change the current pattern of your life to progress towards what you want i.e. take a step back, pause, accept, understand the pattern, and then try to change it.
“Understanding of life begins with understanding of patterns.” — Fritjof Capra
Let’s stop living in a pattern and start creating a beautiful path for our life.