When we talk about kids, we plan many situations in advance like giving them unique names, shaping them with best habits and character, sending them to the best school in town, providing them with every luxury, etc. etc. But sometimes, in the hustle of equipping them with every possible life comfort, we might miss out on some common but important aspects that determine the future personality traits of our “precious life-part”.
I hope this 13 points piece will light positive thoughts for the characteristic growth of your kids and prepare them to face the usual hurdles of life with integrity and confidence. What else could be more proud and satisfying than watching our descendants flourish?
1. To read people behavior, body language and intentions- When your child goes to school or play, he/she meets other children and different character out there. It is the phase when the primary approach towards world develops. I take it as the time when every child needs someone to back him/her and words alone can't help. We could help them understand how people behave, what body-language means and how to deal with it by giving measured exposure.
2. To communicate and convey their feelings- I free my kids to ask questions and I saw their reasoning and critical thinking ability evolve. This tendency helps them grow to their real potential. You see when you pay attention with no interruption to whatever your child has to say, it boosts its confidence to express views. Instead of informing them that communication matters, inspire them to talk to new people around. This establishes a sense to create networks and acquaintances later on. For ex.; Take your kids out to shopping complexes or to other public place and encourage them to open up with others.
3. The moral codes that make human a human– Every kid should learn to value emotions and relations, to give respect to receive respect, prefer humanity over materialistic values so that the next-gen finds its way in sanity. We often drop our inherent human qualities in the haste of hoarding material pleasures. The etiquettes and empathy takes a person a long way and if you can form it in his/ her characteristics, there is nothing more rewarding than that.
In one instance, I was sitting in my friend’s house and his son is too active to rest at one place. So, to avoid unnecessary efforts, he pointed out his fear of dark and said, Alex sit down quiet or I will lock you in a dark room for one hour. He sat down but was that right? No, he, without giving a thought, covered in his comfort zone, attacked on Alex’s mental protective cover.
4. The constructive approach of thinking- “There is nothing wrong in failing. It is the first step to success.” We see such quotes everywhere. We need such quotes because we’ve been raised with a rather indifferent mindset, drowned with our own mental regressions. If you want your kid to find light in every situation of darkness, teach him/ her, the constructive process of thinking.
Encourage them to build their approach, to love themselves, to not hold grudges, to understand others have it worse than what they are experiencing and particularly, when the things do not turn out as expected, there are more ways to do so. Don’t move back, don’t leave, just stretch, push and build extended new limits.
5. To make them habitual to stay and solve- When your child learn to stand up for itself to face situations, know that your work is done. When they give up a task because it is complicated or involves risk, tell them to face it and conquer it because it is the only way to not fear again or lose again.
6. To prepare food and do self-care- You might be having house-help or enough members to do everything, but never forget to include your kid in your tasks. It engages their mind, teaches creative ways to do things and make them responsible and thoughtful.
7. To look for productive and creative- Tech has shadowed everything and it feels good to see the kids learning it better than us but it is not sufficient. Not everything is done on smart phones or tablets. Engage them in active, real-time activities. Tell them what’s productive what’s not with fun tasks. Like set a limit of one hour to solve a puzzle and create an art. Now it is upon him how he does it. You would provide assistance if he asks so. Observe how he uses his time.
8. Let him/ her take the risk- The risk-taking is in true nature of human being but being a parent, it is highly important to balance this “risk-taking-enthusiasm” of your children. They should learn to evaluate the situations, risks and outputs of the effort. It could be in any sense, mental or physical. Some grow with craziness in their head while some sustain with too many limits. A balance is what they need. And who else would be better than you to teach this.
9. Share your experiences- There is a growing tendency in the world right now. They say, “Don’t impose your experiences on your kids”. Yes, it is true, don’t ever do that, but if you see with a broad overview, you would find that human species repeat the same things over a long period of time. Experiences might be different but base theme and concepts are often the same. And so, while imposing your experiences on your kids to affect their impressions is quite inappropriate, a little knowledge and experience sharing can comfort your kid in his/ her efforts by bringing clarity in approach.
10. First do yourself then ask to follow- This rule is simple. If you don’t do it yourself, don’t expect your kids to do that either. Why? Because they understand things from the very start. We all know this because we all were kids once. When you don’t do a thing, they observe and when you ask them to do the same thing (claiming it a good habit), it would create confusion. It is the polarization most of us have faced from the very start. So, don’t become the contributor in the same league.
11. To remove inequality of religion, color or gender- It is more to observe and practice rather than telling your kids. When your kids see you hugging, welcoming your neighbors and friends no matter what their religion, color and financial conditions are, your kid will do the same. When you watch TV and ignore a racial speech or context, your kid observes you. Teach this point by practicing yourself.
12. To prefer honesty- When you celebrate national events with happiness and excitement, and pushes him/ her to participate in events, it surely creates the feeling of nationalism in your child. The love for country brings the responsibility and a sense of honesty. This honesty is what we need right now because we, as a world, can’t bear corrupt people anymore. Leave this “corrupt” thing for Software.
13. To care for Earth- It is the need of time. Still most of us don’t care for mother Earth. We were not coached to give the Earth its due importance, I understand that but we have the opportunity to implant this habit in our children. Plant a tree
accompanying your children, keep a flower-plant in home, take family to park or jungle-camping every week or month, show sensitivity for natural elements and your kids will follow.
Did I miss on something? Maybe. If you think so, add your views in comments. Let’s see how many bright parental tips we can collect here. If you think this effort was worth your time, then share it and let us know as well. We feel good when happiness shared with others.
Contributed by - Hashmi Dawakhana